Many times over the past few years, I have consistently warned about the "next" Trump, the 2.0 version that's slicker, smarter, even meaner, not a slave to his impulses and his pathetic need for daddy's love. I just thought it would take until the next electoral cycle for that character to arrive, but it already has, in the fun-size-billionaire known as Mike Bloomberg.
You have to give Bloomberg some credit in a very important area -- he knows just how to push Trump's buttons, and is unafraid to do so. In that, he models some valuable tactics for actual Democrats to use at least once in a while. The main thing is to never take his shit. You want to know why most of Trump's supporters really like him? That's why. He's like the old joke about John Wayne toilet paper -- doesn't take shit off anyone.
Other than that, though, Bloomberg is just the fucking worst. He's the epitome of the "plutocrat philanthropist" that Anand Giridharadas profiles so well -- a person who, rather than simply paying his taxes so that the government can be funded to do the work it is commissioned to do for the common good, decides to "donate" money to his pet causes and peeves, in order to target his own priorities, take the writeoffs, and pat himself on the back in public for what a generous person he is.
In many ways, Bloomberg is a bit of a spiritual mirror to Trump. Where Trump is vain, narcissistic, weak, impulsive, shallow and stupid, Bloomberg is actually intelligent, and is obviously a real billionaire, many times over, not some ludicrous fake tycoon from a cheesy reality show, a comic-book character with ridiculous hair, and who somehow manages to constantly look like he's in the middle of a pumpkin pie-eating contest.
Trump's open and constant embrace of his vulgar appetites is perhaps the most stark contrast to Bloomberg's uptight urges to purge the community of their bad habits. But the bottom line is, both men are authoritarian control freaks by nature. And Bloomberg is every bit the arrogant racist and misogynist that Trump is. He's just not a buffoon, because he's not a three-year-old with no impulse control, the way Trump is. The paths are different, but the destination is roughly the same.
The big differences are that Bloomberg would be highly unlikely to stock the courts with unqualified Federalist Society mooks, and he would probably tell the evilangelist hucksters to fuck themselves and each other. He would be more likely to seek qualified counsel for areas where he did not have knowledge or expertise. He would be able to admit to those gaps in knowledge, for fuck's sake. There would at least be some semblance of comparative normalcy.
So in those respects, Bloomberg would be an improvement. Anything would be an improvement. But let's face it -- if Bloomie really cared about the country, and really wanted to save the day, there are plenty of better and more dollar-efficient ways to go about it. And he's smart enough to know that. He could (and still should, and if he doesn't get the nomination, hopefully will) dump a fraction of what he's spent so far on the contested senate races, and dump the incumbents who enable Trump's open corruption.
Hell, as at least one internets observer has noted, Bloomberg could easily buy up all of Trump's debt, and then have him over a barrel on repayment terms. It would not be too much of a stretch for him to kick him out of his own tower. This is a pissing contest between two NYC elites who have known each other a long time, and who don't like each other.
So it's a bit puzzling why Bloomberg doesn't just go that route, and work out his personal vendetta against Commander Babyfingers in the most publicly humiliating way imaginable. Bloomberg has already dropped nearly half a billion on his ubiquitous ads, so money is not the problem.
You have to give Bloomberg some credit in a very important area -- he knows just how to push Trump's buttons, and is unafraid to do so. In that, he models some valuable tactics for actual Democrats to use at least once in a while. The main thing is to never take his shit. You want to know why most of Trump's supporters really like him? That's why. He's like the old joke about John Wayne toilet paper -- doesn't take shit off anyone.
Other than that, though, Bloomberg is just the fucking worst. He's the epitome of the "plutocrat philanthropist" that Anand Giridharadas profiles so well -- a person who, rather than simply paying his taxes so that the government can be funded to do the work it is commissioned to do for the common good, decides to "donate" money to his pet causes and peeves, in order to target his own priorities, take the writeoffs, and pat himself on the back in public for what a generous person he is.
In many ways, Bloomberg is a bit of a spiritual mirror to Trump. Where Trump is vain, narcissistic, weak, impulsive, shallow and stupid, Bloomberg is actually intelligent, and is obviously a real billionaire, many times over, not some ludicrous fake tycoon from a cheesy reality show, a comic-book character with ridiculous hair, and who somehow manages to constantly look like he's in the middle of a pumpkin pie-eating contest.
Trump's open and constant embrace of his vulgar appetites is perhaps the most stark contrast to Bloomberg's uptight urges to purge the community of their bad habits. But the bottom line is, both men are authoritarian control freaks by nature. And Bloomberg is every bit the arrogant racist and misogynist that Trump is. He's just not a buffoon, because he's not a three-year-old with no impulse control, the way Trump is. The paths are different, but the destination is roughly the same.
The big differences are that Bloomberg would be highly unlikely to stock the courts with unqualified Federalist Society mooks, and he would probably tell the evilangelist hucksters to fuck themselves and each other. He would be more likely to seek qualified counsel for areas where he did not have knowledge or expertise. He would be able to admit to those gaps in knowledge, for fuck's sake. There would at least be some semblance of comparative normalcy.
So in those respects, Bloomberg would be an improvement. Anything would be an improvement. But let's face it -- if Bloomie really cared about the country, and really wanted to save the day, there are plenty of better and more dollar-efficient ways to go about it. And he's smart enough to know that. He could (and still should, and if he doesn't get the nomination, hopefully will) dump a fraction of what he's spent so far on the contested senate races, and dump the incumbents who enable Trump's open corruption.
Hell, as at least one internets observer has noted, Bloomberg could easily buy up all of Trump's debt, and then have him over a barrel on repayment terms. It would not be too much of a stretch for him to kick him out of his own tower. This is a pissing contest between two NYC elites who have known each other a long time, and who don't like each other.
So it's a bit puzzling why Bloomberg doesn't just go that route, and work out his personal vendetta against Commander Babyfingers in the most publicly humiliating way imaginable. Bloomberg has already dropped nearly half a billion on his ubiquitous ads, so money is not the problem.
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