Monday, February 10, 2020

Why Do You Keep Hitting Yourself?

One of the constant refrains of online libs and mods and such is how horrible the putatively liberal members of the mainstream media tend to be, day after miserable fucking day. Columnists for the NY Times receive mild criticism as harbingers of tumbrels and guillotines. Network news anchors such as Norah O'Donnell do PR puff pieces with murderous petrocrats, and praise Dear Leader's showmanship hours after a State of the Union speech that was probably discarded from an early draft of Idiocracy for being too ludicrous. This week, Chris Matthews and Chuck Todd have separately characterized Bernie Sanders and his (admittedly bumptious) supporters in ugly, corrosive terms.

It will be a matter of minutes or hours, a day or two at the most, before another supposed liberal betrays the cause or whatever. And then countless virtual soapboxes will be mounted with alarming quickness, with accompanying videos and Twitter threads documenting the atrocity of the day.

Here is some free advice, and it may not even be worth that much:  Cut them loose. Stop watching them, stop reading them, stop patronizing their networks, their advertisers, all of it. These well-heeled turds have been poisoning the well with their worthless observations and hoary rhetoric for as long as I have been alive, always getting worse and never better as time has passed. Some other rented piece of shit in a suit will step in for each of them after they retire and spend their dotage crowing about how their bullshit kept 'murka's sacred promise alive. Write them off and don't look back. There are plenty of people out there plying an honest trade, not content to be PR flacks for billionaires and defense contractors.

Obviously, conservative outlets such as Fox News, Blaze, OANN, and the vast reserve of talk-radio douchebags have been far more poisonous, for far longer. But those entities barely even bother to pretend to be serious or real. They are comic-book caricatures, a combination of the worst elements of pro wrestling and televangelism, designed explicitly to appeal mostly to the credulous dupes who take both of those things seriously. I mean, come on. You basically have to be a Homer Simpson-level doofus -- a slow-witted, angry sap unwilling to read anything longer than a postcard, and really just needing a daily fix of button-pushing nonsense, to engage with any of those media at all.

But the "legitimate" outlets, the networks, CNN, MSNBC, they all posture and preen like a bunch of fucking show cats, smug and secure in the comfortable lie they tell their audiences, which is the same lie they tell themselves in order to be able to sleep at night. And then they turn around and have Kellyanne Conway or Rudy Giuliani or Alan Dershowitz on, because only by giving liars and propagandists an equal platform with facts and truth can we reliably ascertain a clear narrative, right? There is simply no other way to skin this poor squirrel.

If you've seen my NFL playoff predictions over the years, then you know how spotty my record of prognostication is. But I can guarantee you this with ironclad certainty:  they will never stop being terrible until they are forced to. I honestly don't believe too many people need to be told this. But it's like everyone is waiting for everyone else to turn away, so no one does.

And frankly, I literally can't believe that anyone who doesn't have a clear vested interest in the political consulting industry, the machine that never stops churning in this country, chewing up dollars and gaslighting citizens, making them crazy and turning them against each other, actually watches or reads any of these puling dipshits. Seriously -- do you personally, or anyone you know, actually fucking watch Chuck Todd, or read David Brooks?

Clearly someone is patronizing these tools, because they sell ad space and have teevee shows. But if you're not in the game, there is no point in watching them. They're not talking to you. They're talking to the bookies and grifters who infest the seedy demi-monde of influence peddling and favor trading. They're telling each other whom to make book on for the coming week or month.

It's awesome, in a way, that in a week where you literally had a throng of masked, hooded white-power creeps skulking through the nation's fucking capital city, faithfully guarded by their law-enforcement allies, there were dispatches from leading corporate media figures wringing their hands over the unseemly behavior of the Bernie bros. Why, I hear they may have heckled a few unbelievers on the ol' Twitter machine!

(Side note re the DC "Reclaim America" march:  The marchers' stated contention that they are fighting back against elements who wish to see them erased from American society are, in fact, correct. No one in their right mind would miss the cancerous presence of these people. There's a reason they were fully -- and illegally, but they're white, so.... -- masked and wearing sunglasses, like a rural militia with a rather theatrical flair. They don't understand much, but they know very well why they can't afford to be recognized. And they know why they had to be flanked by a cadre of bicycle cops the entire time, like the snowflakes they really are. They can't admit it, maybe not even to themselves, but they know. They know they are failures, that the very act of participating in that....thing is a profoundly shameful, stupid deed. Fortunately only they and their fellow snowflakes know what they've done, who and what they really are. Let them live long with the full shame.)

But the ongoing perfidy of the corporate mediots should encase your anger in carbonite, and ensure your resolve to never give those worthless cocksuckers a moment of your time, except to track the sponsors and toss 'em a quick template email explaining in a hundred words or less why you'll never buy their product again.

There is no other reason to watch any corporate network or cable news, nor to read the NY Times. These people are profiteering from the chaos, nothing more, nothing less. They are in cahoots with the regime, in effect if not in scheme.

I always think about that scene in Howard Stern's Private Parts, where the program manager explains to Howard that the people who love his show listen for an average of ninety minutes, while the people who claim to hate the show listen for an hour longer than that.

If the people who are pissed at Chuck Todd (or whoever the dipshit of the day is; there'll be another one tomorrow, coming right out with the rising sun) simply hit his mentions one last time, simply saying something like, Fuck you, I'm done, and I'm emailing your sponsors to let them know I'm done with them too, it would be over for them. Curtains. Kaput. Because once the hate mail and nasty comments drops off, that's a hit for their audience KPI.

So, uh, let's get this party started already. There are worse goals in life than to see Tweety Matthews and Chunk Toad be forced into cushy retirement.

No comments: