Monday, July 31, 2006

Sideshow Ann

I cringe a little every time I type the cunt's name, and I don't want to spend any more time talking about her/it than is necessary to address the point, but Ann Coulter has added measurably to her ongoing Media Matters profile in just the past week.

First she declared that Bill Clinton's womanizing was evidence of his latent homosexuality. This is the sort of quality armchair psychoanalysis one can usually find on Jerry Springer-type shows. Now, if he she wanted to speculate that perhaps Clinton has some issues with women, and that they may even stem from his five-times-married mother's issues with men, okay. It's still ugly and unnecessary, spiteful and cheap, but that's what the cunt specializes in; it's what makes her a cunt in the first place.

Womanizing is not an admirable trait, but I've never heard of it as making someone a probable -- or even likely -- closet case. But that's what Coulter trucks in, throwing shit against the wall. Even if none of it sticks, it still raises a stink. That's really the whole point in the first place; that there are people out there stupid enough to take her seriously is just gravy.

Then the psycho bitch calls Al Gore a "total fag", as a jokey-joke riposte to sock puppet Tweety Matthews' mewling reiterations of her bizarre claims about Clinton's sexuality -- which she then in turn staunchly defended as something "everyone has already known". Who the fuck is "everyone", bitch -- James Dobson and a bunch of "ex-gay" bathhouse queens? Funny how Coulter is never -- and I mean never -- able to cite anything resembling a reputable, checkable source for the lunacy she peddles as "fact".

The week's trifecta was completed later on the same Tweety show with her mangled endorsement of the abortion initiative that the voters of "South Carolina" had on the ballot. Thing is, the initiative is in South Dakota, and is something diametrically opposite to what Coulter, a tiresomely vociferous pro-life advocate, would actually endorse.

"Oh," you say, "so she made a mistake. Big deal." Well, it is a big deal. For one thing, she is inexplicably allowed to pass herself off as a serious commentator. Serious people do not make retard mistakes like that on serious shows; they know the difference between South Carolina and South Dakota, between Slovenia and Slovakia, between pro-life initiatives and pro-choice initiatives.

This is a pattern. Coulter is good at the snappy "oh no you didn't" rhythms of drive-by poseur punditry, but when challenged on the factuality of her increasingly bizarre assertions, she always demurs or elides the point. Then there's the demonstrable allegations of her serial plagiarism, well-documented by The Rude Pundit and Raw Story in recent weeks.

Now here's my point, why I brought this skank up once again. What does it take for Coulter to be held responsible for what she says and writes? How is it that "reputable" corporate media, purporting to be "serious", have this shithouse-crazy bag lady on their shows pulling shit out of her bony ass every fucking time? The woman is the intellectual equivalent of a circus geek, obviously, and it doesn't matter whether it's the 9/11 widows or Bill Clinton -- it's all just more chickens to bite the heads off of, to the amusement of the rubes watching her little sideshow.

I'd like to think Annie's gig is about up, because short of accusing Clinton of necrophilia and bestiality, there's not much further she can go, and her schtick is all about how "outrageous" she can get. Well, that's not serious political commentary, and it's about goddamned time that Tweety and the rest of the kewl kidz start being responsible about the sort of shit they allow on their programs.

I don't think the media humps realize just how much they devalue their own currency with this shit. It really is the political version of Springer et al, spreading lies and toxic rhetoric, catering to people's basest, most idiotic instincts. And not only are they so clueless as to wonder why people have turned to the internets for their information, they have the fucking gall to chastise the eeevil bloggers for being angry and nasty.

Well, if being a "serious journalist" means doing what Tweety and Russert and the rest of the empty suits do, they can fucking have it. Ten years from now, they'll either get with the program, or be on the outside looking in. They don't seem to get or care that when they devalue their shows with people like Coulter, it just contributes that much more to the growing self-selective nature of their audiences. Eventually they will find themselves catering to the mouth-breathers who actually go out and buy and read her "books". And if that's what they want, then go with God on that, but don't look down your nose and point your fucking finger at the bloggers then. You gave up that privilege, Tweety Matthews, when you sucked up to what may be the most toxic political fabulist in America today.

And as with the people who seriously want to vote for a twit like George Felix Allen, Junior, out of sheer ignorance and spite, the people who continue to buy into Sideshow Annie's stupid little spectacle need to be held responsible as well, and put back out on the margins where they belong. Do they have the right to buy her plagiarized nonsense, and believe her ranting bag lady assertions? Of course. They also have the right to watch professional wrestling 24/7; such habits instantly qualify one as a moron, in the eyes of serious observers.

And that's what we need to get back to in our political culture, is serious observation. I don't mean solemn, I mean being intellectually honest and reality-based about one's contentions. Be insulting, be funny, sure, but point out the absurd, don't be a part of it.

Again, Coulter has the right to do what she does, though I seriously don't know how she lives with herself. It must take supreme will and/or delusion for her not to just borrow a gun and blow her brains out, as perpetually bilious and unhappy as she always is. Seriously, to listen to this crazy cunt, you'd think that her side hadn't been completely in charge for the last six years, after spending the previous eight years using that president as daily target practice.

But in a country that had a soul and a brain, Coulter would go broke. Instead she is feted and enabled by corporate assholes and conservative activists alike. And fat fucks like Tweety, squealing and clapping his hooves in approval for her imminent return, after making assertions about people that would get a librul crucified in the media, and showing not even a casual acquaintance with even basic researchable facts.

So again, perhaps it's time to address the root cause, and hold her retard fans accountable, make the media enablers responsible for having her on. It's either that or we have to listen to this braying sow, and the rest of her herd, for the rest of our damned lives.


cavanaghjam said...

I believe you have discounted the superhuman accuracy necessary for Ms Coulter to blow her brains out.

Anonymous said...

Damn nice post. Thanks.

modulator said...

Instead of flowers, I will leave on her grave piles of my shit.

I will dump my shit until the mound rivals the size of her headstone.

I encourage others to do the same.
Everybody poops.

Besides... She's given so much to the world.
It's only fair to give a little back.

I'm not trying to be funny either. This is seriously my plan.
If I have to fly to the other side of the country, so be it.

Ron said...

If she wasn't blonde and ostensibly cute, this wouldn't be happening. The only thing that explains her frequent appearances is not what comes out of her mouth, it's the cheeto-munching wankers that keep tuning in whenever she appears that guarantee her return appearances. The WWF-style sleaze she trafficks in is secondary.

lymie77 said...

Agree with all your sentiments, but isn't a cunt a nice thing? Could you choose a better word, hmmmmm?

David Ehrenstein said...

Het, she has yet to accuse Clinton of having sex with Vincent Foster's corpse.

Look for it!

Anonymous said...

You obviously nailed it. Her days are numbered

Firestarter5 said...

You don't like her do you?