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Sunday, October 28, 2007

Writer's Block

No doubt the link will be de-hacked as soon as Jonah gets wind of it and rouses some increasingly disgruntled intern, but in the meantime, here's a handy screen capture:



I think the current over-under on how many dippy "from X to Y" combinations they'll come up with before finally settling on one is eight. I believe they actually have changed it three times already, seriously. Don't they have marketing weasels and ghost-writers to handle that shit?

Maybe DoughBob is the paws-on type, Funyun fragments spraying hither and yon as he squawks orders at hapless peons to "kern the font" and "man the jib". Basically the wingnut welfare editorial version of some America's Cup fop, spending way too much on a fiberglass sloop and a Captain Stubing hat, and nothing on the Filipino day laborers unlucky enough to crew the whole mess.

If all else fails, Goldberg can always retreat to his standard M.O. and bleg his readers for help with the title. I still think my earlier suggestion, Are You Gonna Finish That? The Deep-Fried Temptation from Colonel Sanders to Applebee's, has a certain insouciant je ne sais blah to it, but aside from regrettably having to excise that misbegotten chapter about the Colonel's military service, I suppose that's why our boy gets the large dollars.

It never seems to occur to these morons who prattle on about the oppression they face in the debauched institution where they ply their make-work, whether academia, intelligentsia, or punditardia. If those places truly functioned by the words they throw about as if they knew what they meant -- you know, fascism and all -- they would have been mau-maued long ago and been replaced by a chimp with a dartboard, which would have at least had the ancillary benefit of being more accurate.

3 comments:

woodguy said...

Heywood,

One of your BEST.

Heywood J. said...

Cool, thanks. I'm dying to know who hacked Pantload's book page, that's just genius.

Marius said...

Dude, that hacked page is some funny shit, man. I hope they do it again.