Sidekick to Failure

Thinking about Obama's veep options earlier highlights the serious contrast between what he has to choose from and what McCain's got to work with. Supposedly even Lieberputz has wormed his way onto the short list, which would be great news -- for Obama. Plus Holy Joe would then have the dubious distinction of helping to doom a ticket from each party.

But that Lieberman might even be seriously (or hell, even humorously) considered simply emphasizes this dearth of choices for McCain. The only other remotely viable choice -- aside from tapping an unknown -- would be Romney, and then only because as a corporate tool, he can bring in the cash. But the god-bothering nutbase McCain needs to coax to the polls would be put off by Mittens' queer pioneer-Scientology beliefs. Mormon politicians obviously do quite well in the Rocky Mountain states, and have since before Mo Udall. Outside that sparse electoral region, not so much.

Ironically, Mormonism is by far the least worrisome feature about Romney, a wholly political creature cobbled together from stage hair and an empty suit, an unsettlingly smooth career corporate raider waiting for further instructions. The more people find out about him, the less they'll like him.

This is why McCain has held off so long to pick a running mate -- there's just nothing to choose from, the usual gaggle of washed-up morons, each bringing their own bucketful of negatives to the table. Indeed, that's how McCain himself got the nod in the first place; his media butt-boys who have coddled and excused him for years kept up their fine work and bought him donuts, and once America's Mayor turned out to be the self-serving douchebag everyone already knew him for, and Ol' Fred decided he'd grifted enough monorail loot from the rubes and ambled off stage, that left Straight Talk.

Obama has several choices that will probably solidify and/or increase his numbers, while virtually all of McCain's options are practically guaranteed to hurt his. It's looking like Bob Dole all over again.