Chacun à Son Gout

Roy shares the sad tales of fallen-on-hard-times conservabloggers, most notably the infamous tough guy Kim du Toit, which (as Roy points out) sorta undermines du Toit's usual credo of self-reliance. What ensues is a rather sad episode of the missus blegging for financial assistance, because Kim has been unable to work or exercise for nearly a decade because of chronic gout.

So, in that spirit of self-reliance, Mrs. du Toit cashed in her IRA to take the family around the world, get lap-band surgery for their daughter, take care of some "critical" home repairs, and re-up on server fees. (Apparently getting one of them free blogs somewhere would be, um, cybersocialism or something, sponsored by The Man, who is now a black man. Uh-oh.)

I have just enough compassion to feel at least a little bad for anyone in financial desperation, even complete donut-heads who spend most of their time berating people for being lazy and/or stupid. But jeez, people, it seems that all the bleggingcyberpanhandling in the world won't help you buy a clue. I mean, I love the missus' optimism, carefully couched in perhaps subconscious phrases such as "It’s time for others to step up and allow Kim a chance to sit down" and "....but [Kim's] novel writing MIGHT yield a small return, as he passes the time pursuing gainful employment, or considers a run for public office....". Just priceless.

Shit, the man's had seven years to write that novel, perhaps about a simple gout-afflicted man with simple dreams of ridin' his Rascal out to the shootin' range, and entertaining his cyberbuddies with leers and jeers, presumably at steers and queers. You know, he's been sitting down. Whether posting (no links; they're recent posts) boudoir photos of the insanely hot Monica Bellucci, or using Obama's name (since he got voted in, what, four days ago and is apparently just moments away from mass gun confiscation and re-education camps) to allude to German compound nouns of a certain origin, du Toit has always struck me as the thinking man's Dale Gribble, though perhaps that assessment may have to be adjusted to Bill Dauterive.

As for running for public office, well, that one pretty much writes itself, don't it? One assumes the usual continuation of the "god/guns/guts" platform of self-styled self-reliant folk, but again, some self-awareness is in order. People hold down jobs with agonizing pain all the time, even worse than (rolls eyes) gout and obesity. And I expect that the du Toits, in their near-deacde of hardship, have accepted no gubmint aid whatsoever in helping them financially transcend Mister Man's travails. It's a matter of principle here, folks. He better not even have special parking card.

In all seriousness, if the du Toits really want to start getting their financial house in order, maybe they'd buy some breathing room for that (rolls eyes again) novel to get finished if they, say, compiled a semi-coherent pastiche of Kim's rants over the years, slapped a title and cover on it, got a boutique print deal, and sold marked-up autographed copies to their readers.

And, you know, stopped using their retirement funds to put their kids through college and take them to Europe, just to sit around and wonder how the bottom dropped out. That's the kind of shit that keeps people like Suze Orman in business.