Bonfire of the Manatees

Every Camille Paglia column seems to take one back to the same question -- has she ever held an actual job, or has she spent her entire adulthood shuffling around an ivory tower? Who else would insist on being the architect of endless logical spirals, wispy curlicues of lunacy wafting into the clouds, look there they go!

Paglia decries the awful tactics of Obama's people doing what every administration does; that is, tying blocs of the opposition to the most ludicrous person they can find, in this case our good friend Nacho "Are You Gonna Finish That?" Limpballs. But don't get her wrong -- she rilly rilly supports Obama, except when he has the nerve to rebut talk-show clowns who openly pray for his failure on a daily basis, to the delight of his retard listeners. Apparently he's supposed to just lie back and take shit from the dumbest people in the country.

Paglia segues so effortlessly from "no shit, Sherlock" observations to "I don't think so, lady", it's almost an art form unto itself:

As a student of radio and a longtime listener of Rush's show, I have gotten a wealth of pleasure and insight from him over the years. To attack Rush Limbaugh is to attack his audience -- and to intensify the loyalty of his fan base.

If Rush's presence looms too large for the political landscape, it's because of the total vacuity of the Republican leadership, which seems to be in a dithering funk. Rush isn't responsible for the feebleness of Republican voices or the thinness of Republican ideas. Only ignoramuses believe that Rush speaks for the Republican Party. On the contrary, Rush as a proponent of heartland conservatism has waged open warfare with the Washington party establishment for years.

It should be obvious even to Paglia that the goal of attacking Lunchbox is to attack his audience, intensifying their loyalty perhaps, but forcing them into relative isolation, surrounded by deep but narrow ideological crevasses. The attacks take away the fence that people like Paglia enjoy parking their rhetorical armchairs on. And yes, it's because the GOP has nothing else to hang their hats on. Nicely done, Columbo.

And while "conservatives" (who are now actually authoritarians) might want to disassociate themselves from "Republicans" at this point, the reverse is not necessarily (or even likely) true. In fact, the Republicans pretty much have to cater to the moran bloc more than ever at this point. The idea that Limpballs' toxic sophistry is "heartland conservatism" -- when it is clearly neither of those things -- just makes Paglia look almost as ridiculous as our beloved Nacho.

And I'm sick of people impugning Rush's wealth and lifestyle, which is no different from that of another virtuoso broadcaster who hit it big -- Oprah Winfrey.

Um, sure, except for maybe the drug addictions, the mysterious jaunts down to the Dominican Republic with oxy and viagra, the multiple failed marriages. Yes, Oprah is obscenely wealthy and seems to have her own commitment issues, and certainly lives much larger than anyone really needs to. But she also gives a lot more of it away than she has to, and her philanthropic endeavors appear to be more than his (although, to be fair, Nacho does give generously to veterans' charities, which is the least could do).

But while Oprah may be somewhat precious and eminently ripe for parody in her daily affirmations of housewives' emotions, Limbaugh's affirmations are of a distinctly uglier stripe, and always have been. It's pretty disingenuous for a career ankle-biter of Fatboy's heft to suddenly cry uncle when he gets slapped back for once, and he doesn't need Paglia to sing a sad song for him. They still have a few Republicans left to do that shit.