The Book of Moron

Conventional wisdom, such as it is, has slowly divested itself from the "debate" about Willard "Buzz Killington" Romney's Mormonism. While said religion does have some, ahem, rather unusual tenets, and has been responsible for considerable ugliness in the past (as opposed to, you know, any of the innumerable other belief systems which hinge on devotion to the improbable in order to navigate through life), counterintuitively it seems that, out of everything we know and are still learning about Romney, Mormonism seems to be the best thing about him.

I mean, really, what else can you hang your hat on with this guy -- that he's a rich asshole who was born on third base and acts like he hit a triple? That we the peons get the privilege of subsidizing his wife's "therapeutic" show ponies? That he has the people skills of an Asperger's sufferer? That, to listen to him speak, one's first impression boils down roughly to "Dubya with experience as financial weasel"?

These are fun times, friends 'n' neighbors -- for the next few months, you get to watch Romney's party vainly try to convince themselves that this guy's gonna take 'em to the promised land, deliver them from the clutches of that eeeevil islamocommiefascistneegrow. Hell, it might even work. Considering a substantial chunk of voting-age 'murkins are borderline retarded, anything's possible. Why not unemployed working-class people being bamboozled into voting for a hectomillionaire whose career was outsourcing their jobs? Yeah, that makes much more sense than giving Jon Huntsman and his smokin' hot daughters a shot.