Saturday, January 05, 2013

Game Changers

Trying to watch the Bungles-Texans playoff game. I enjoy how NBC had the foresight to stick one of their sideline mikes next to a retard apparently banging a metal spoon and a cooking pot, judging by the rapid fucking clatter after every fucking play. Jesus, where's a drunken bleacher brawl when you could really use one?

Update [1/6/13 2:45 PST]:  Apparently the same bozo(s) made his/their way to FedEx Field to clatter through the Redskins/Seahawks matchup, thus turning what should be an enjoyable showdown between two prodigiously gifted rookie QB phenoms into a headache. Every goddamned play -- clack-clack-clack-clack-clack-TING-TING-TING-TING-TING.

It sounds like a small army of those stupid wind-up toy chimps that clank cymbals together. Only more annoying. This is on a par with Thunderstix and vuvuzelas, two other devices that prove conclusively that if there is in fact a God, He enjoys screwing with us. I'm not kidding when I say I hope this guy's fucking balls fall off unexpectedly (or hell, expectedly). Just yell like a normal person, Holmes, there's no need to spend an entire afternoon acting like an autistic first-grader with a pipe wrench and a ride cymbal.

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