Saturday, May 28, 2016

Startin' Up a Rumor

I'm not gonna say that Donald Trump is a fat, sweaty, spray-tanned asshole who tells lies the way most people draw breath, or that he keeps a small herd of specially-bred goats on his private jet to relieve him sexually after each of his campaign rallies. I promised I wouldn't say those things, so I'm not saying them.

But, you know, the fact is -- and I'm not saying this -- that his audiences should know that when he's talking to them, he's really thinking about tapping some sweet goat ass immediately after the show.

But I would never say that.

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