God's Grift

Perhpas the most welcome news of the past week was the well-timed revelation that Chimpco might, just might, have been playing the extra-chromosome vote for the suckers that they are. I mean, rank cynicism we can all understand; actually thinking that esoteric religious and social issues are even our hundredth biggest problem right now, not so much.

A former senior presidential aide has accused the Bush administration of using evangelical Christians to win votes but then privately ridiculing them once in office. The allegations by David Kuo, the former deputy director of the White House office of faith-based initiatives, come at a devastating time, when the administration is counting on born-again Christians to vote in sufficient numbers to save the Republicans' hold on Congress in the November elections.

In a book entitled Tempting Faith: an Inside Story of Political Seduction, to be published on Monday, Mr Kuo portrays the Bush White House's commitment to evangelical causes as little more than a cynical facade designed to win votes.

"National Christian leaders received hugs and smiles in person and then were dismissed behind their backs and described as ridiculous, out of control, and just plain goofy," Mr Kuo wrote, according to MSNBC television, which obtained an early copy of the book. In particular, he quotes Karl Rove, the president's long-serving political adviser and mentor, as describing evangelical Christians as "nuts".

Good. At least the elves of this administration have actually assessed something correctly. As always, it's necessary to preface that assertion with the caveat that it's not all people of faith, nor is it the having of faith itself, that is the problem. It's simply the overt politicization of faith, and that's all these hucksters really are when you get down to it -- they're politicians.

I doubt if the political blowback will be much to write home about -- at worst, the evangelicals might decide to stay home instead of voting. And again, if they are going to persist in their ridiculous misprioritization of serious national issues, good. Stay home continue the endless plaint of moral decadence and perfidy of everyone else. Shoot your television set. Whatever floats your boat. Just stop inflicting your willful ignorance on the rest of us.

I understand Barack Obama wants to reach out to these people, or at least be seen and heard talking about how much we need to reach out to them. The notion of crazed Jesus Campers laying hands on and praying over a life-size Barack Obama cardboard cutout does not make me feel any better about the process. I think we get farther by doing and saying things that will enlighten and inform people, and encourage the self-disenfranchised to want to become more involved in the political process. There, too, is the instilling of faith.

And it's alternately hilarious and telling that on their visits to the White House, the evangelicals were frequently bought off with trinkets and things like official stationery and photographs. Something to take back home to show the rubes. And you thought we got Manhattan Island cheap.

That, along with Pope Dobson's indifferently cynical response to the indisputably moral issue of Mark Foley preying on teenage pages, also demonstrates a profound gulf even between the flock and their self-appointed leaders. Dobson reflexively recognized the political gambit at play and characterized Foley's pathetic e-mail exchanges as "pranks" and "jokes" played by the pages themselves. A more organized opposition (not just to the Republican Party, but to the wild yet disciplined antics of the snake-handlers as well) would use that episode to drive a real wedge between Dobson and his millions of suckers. Then again, it may be a definitional issue with suckers -- short of a video of Dobson consummating with a nervous ungulate, they'll happily lap up everything he says, and pay him for the privilege. Pretty sweet racket, when you think about it.

And if it does affect the flock enough that they wish to start a third party, even better. I would even drop a buck in the tin cup for such a windmill tilt. It's like throwing Finding Nemo in the DVD player so you can go to the back of the house and spend a little quality time with your significant other.