Depth Perception

In case you were wondering if the band of idiots known as the Republican presidential nominees would pay the same obeisance to Jerry Falwell in death as they did in life, professional taint-licker Christopher Moltisanti LaCivita is here to set you straight:

Veteran GOP strategist Christopher J. LaCivita, architect of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth initiative against Democrat John Kerry in 2004, found the suggestion that religious conservatives would punish no-shows offensive.

"To assume that Christian conservative voters would hold it against any candidate for public office because they did not attend a respected leader like Jerry Falwell's funeral, that's just another attempt to portray Christian values voters as shallow," LaCivita said.

Yes, how could anyone possibly make such an erroneous assumption? People who bought into the SBV's fabrications and smears, and voted instead for a couple of incompetent chickenhawk draft-dodgers because of their brave and vital moral stance against fags a-gittin' hitched -- shallow? Nawwww.

Look, if you want people to stop making fun of your habit of using the ballot box as some therapeutic vessel for your latent sexual phobias, then maybe a start would be to quit (as Matt Taibbi once brilliantly put it) leading the intellectual lives of farm animals. Learn to prioritize, or even to spell "prioritize" and use it in a sentence. That would be a step in the right direction.