Great Gonzos

Gonzo to Congress: Go fuck yourselves.

One of the great discoveries of the Republican Party over the past decade or two is that an awful lot of the rules we take for granted are, in reality, just traditions. Like redistricting only once a decade, for example, or keeping House votes open for 15 minutes. And what Republicans have found out is that if you have the balls to do it, you can just ignore tradition and no one can stop you. It's that simple.

Alberto Gonzales has learned this lesson well. Normally, cabinet officers who have been caught in multiple obvious lies have to either resign or else seriously try to defend themselves. But Gonzales realizes this is just tradition. Unless House Democrats have the votes to impeach him, he doesn't have to do anything. He can just mock them to their face and there's nothing much they can do about it.

....

In Thursday's testimony, Gonzales made it clear that he just doesn't care what anyone thinks. After all, if Democrats don't like it, what are they going to do? Roll their eyes at him?

Well gawrsh, mebbe if we can wheedle some of the "conservative" Democratic douchebags with, say, some peanut-storage subsidies or some such nonsense, we can finally get this smug little fucker's head on a pike, where it belongs.

Can't wait to hear what nuggets of wisdom Dean Wormer Broder, Man O' Duh Peepul, has to say about all this. Since Broder and his coddled ilk simply equate "incivility" with "vituperation" and naughty words, truly uncivil people like Alberto Gonzales invariably have their very real crimes minimized, or falsely equated with someone from the "other" side, so as to give the appearance (which is much more important than actual substance) of "balance".

But there is no balance here; Harry Reid is merely holding as many cloven Republican hooves to the fire as he can, while Abu G is clearly a liar, and a transparently bad one at that. He has lied repeatedly to Congress, pure and simple. When the Clenis evasively perjured himself in a deposition, Broder and any number of grandstanding, opportunistic putzes in the punditocracy and in Congress fell all over themselves lecturing us on how Clenis had defiled "the people's house", and how that merited throwing his doughy ass out of office.

Fine. Gonzales has defiled the people's house, repeatedly, willfully, and I want his fucking ass selling oranges at the next freeway exit. It won't happen that way, of course; even if we get rid of this incompetent, mendacious tool, he'll go the Slam Dunk Tenet route, some cushy sinecure at a university, sucking up "donor"/taxpayer dollars yet again, before scuttling back on to the scene with a fat advance to pretend to tell us something we didn't already know.

Let's face it, there is no such thing as karma, there is merely wishing for it, in an endless cycle of futility. Nothing of real substance will be said by those who need most to say it, with genuine passion and responsibility, and even less will be actually done. Gonzales will merely lose his job when it's politically expedient for the Cheney administration, and then slither on to another unearned reward.