Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Schrödinger's Dick

I think it's just swell of Cheney to give us all a crash course in the esoteric theoretical constructs of quantum governmental superposition.

Weeks after claiming that it was not a part of the executive branch, the Office of Vice President Dick Cheney appears to be readying an independent assertion of executive privilege.

The move emerged in an exchange of letters with the Senate Judiciary Committee, which granted an extension for the White House to comply with a subpoena on documents related to President George W. Bush's domestic spying program.

Counsel to the Vice President Shannen Coffin appeared to imply that Cheney's office may assert executive privilege after it finishes reviewing documents that are responsive to the committee's subpoena. The documents are due today.

Here's an idea -- let's not bother asking these people to do anything. Let's just let them be right all the fucking time. They are, you know. Just ask them. They've never been wrong about anything, ever. Nor do they have anything to hide. It's simply their prerogative to decide what the peons, and the people they vote to represent them, are permitted to know.

Jesus, it's like having a government run by your mom or something. Why don't we just change the national motto to "Because I Said So" (or whatever that is in Latin) and be done with it? This crossed the boundary into stupid long ago. Now they're just rubbing everyone's nose in it.

"Since June 27, we have been working diligently to assess your requests and identify and collect documents responsive to the subpoenas," he wrote. "However, it has become clear that we will not be able to come close to completing our review process by the July 18 return date."

Leahy said he was willing to grant the extension.

"The Judiciary Committee is willing to accommodate reasonable requests and to work with the Administration on its response to these subpoenas," Senator Leahy said in a statement responding to the request. "I hope the White House uses this additional time constructively to finish gathering the relevant information and then works with us in good faith on ways to provide it so that we will have the information we need to conduct effective oversight at long last."

Yeah, and I "hope" to find a satchel full of hundred-dollar bills on my doorstep tomorrow morning, and that my already enormous cock grows to about 13". The odds appear roughly identical.


Marius said...

"Caesar dixit." The emperor has spoken.

Is that what you wanna put on the dollar bills, instead of E pluribus unum?

Heywood J. said...

Yeah, I think I was thinking along the lines of "ipse dixit" or some such, but the Caesar one is a definite keeper.

And not just on currency, but big, Stalinesque murals of Great Uncles Fredo and Shooter on every third street corner, perhaps with old-school Slavic mustaches, captioned with the new motto. As we near the end of Glorious Year Juche Six, it is only fitting to honor our Dear Leaders thusly.