Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Give Us This Week Our Weekly Fuck 'em

I have no idea why our insipid intrepid mediots continue to plumb the wisdom of the rubes, but three months in, and their tears of stupid are not even a leetle bit old, they are in fact quite tasty:

Usually, this pathway outside Parx Casino is reserved for self-flagellation, a private lament at the last hundred lost. But lately, as with most any gathering place around here since late January — the checkout line, the liquor store, the park nearby where losing lottery numbers are pressed into the mulch — patrons have found occasion to project their angst outward, second-guessing a November wager.

“Just like any other damn president,” sighed Theresa Remington, 44, a home-care worker and the mother of two active-duty Marines, scraping at an unlit cigarette. She had voted for Donald J. Trump because she expected him to improve conditions for veterans and overhaul the health care system. Now?

“Political bluster,” Ms. Remington said, before making another run at the quarter slots. She wondered aloud how Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont might have fared in the job.

Well, gee whiz, I dunno, you stupid cunt. You clearly have the decision-making process of an angry chimp slinging its feces at a dartboard. What could possibly go fucking wrong?

Seriously, let's break this down just a touch -- the only way you end up finding a genuine dilemma in choosing between Clownstick and Sanders, two of the most diametrically-opposed candidates on every issue imaginable, is if you literally never read or watch or discuss with friends any sort of news or current events, or if you're simply a foaming-at-the-mouth Never Hitlery dipshit. Either way, you get what you deserve. Good luck with your fucking health-care plan, dumbass. Considering the system is now being headed by a crooked congress-critter who should have been disqualified for profiteering, literally buying and selling stocks in the companies he was approving legislature for, but wasn't because we are now officially a banana republic, the outcome doesn't look too promising. Maybe your slot winnings will cover it. I mean, for fuck's sake.

Then there's this asshole:
“It’s not what he’s done, it’s what he’s trying to do,” said Bill Yokobosky IV, 33, a train engineer from Langhorne, Pa., who was waiting for a haircut at a strip mall. “He hasn’t succeeded, really.”
Nonsense, Bill the Fourth, he's succeeding bigly. He's doing precisely what he set out to do -- make as much fucking money as possible. That's why he's installed his daughter and son-in-law in the roles they have now, to monetize every damned thing, to steal everything that isn't nailed down -- and if it is nailed down, steal the nails while they're at it.

On April 6, Ivanka Trump's company won provisional approval from the Chinese government for three new trademarks, giving it monopoly rights to sell Ivanka brand jewelry, bags and spa services in the world's second-largest economy. That night, the first daughter and her husband, Jared Kushner, sat next to the president of China and his wife for a steak and Dover sole dinner at Mar-a-Lago, her father’s Florida resort.

The scenario underscores how difficult it is for Trump, who has tried to distance herself from the brand that bears her name, to separate business from politics in her new position at the White House.

This is a fatally flawed assumption on the part of a media that at this point (in the aggregate, with precious few exceptions), can only be either inept or complicit. It's not "difficult" for Ivanka at all to "distance herself" or "separate business from politics," because there's been no attempt to do that, nor will there be. I can't believe a serious journamalist actually typed that sentence out without either laughing or crying, because it's not remotely fucking true. She's there to embrace the many monetization opportunities that will present themselves in dealing with the Chinese, who make us look like amateurs when it comes to checkbook diplomacy. They understand all too well that there's absolutely no need to get into an argument with a rival, when you can easily buy them off. That's her role, and her husband's role, to wet the family beak.

What's annoying is that yabbos from the NYT article like Bill the Fourth and Slots McHealthcare would be apoplectic if But Her Emails was doing one-tenth of the shit their hero does right out in the open (hell, I would have called her out for it); what's pathetic is that they seriously believed that a guy who has never not been an obvious, inept con-man had any intention whatsoever to "look out" for people like them, their families, their communities. The guy has managed to do at least one thing every single week that completely contradicts what he spent years whinging about on his Twitter account. Face it, you fucking assclowns, you endorsed someone who's biggest qualification is giving dating advice to Twilight actors. Enjoy that whirlwind.

The least we can do, once the majority of this idiot country finally gathers up their balls and brains and runs these shameless hucksters out on a rail, is make sure to start a fund to provide these simple, well-meaning foke with full-ride scholarships to Clownstick University. In the meantime, this is your fault. You made the choice to cut off your noses, I have no interest in helping you out with the plastic surgery. Own it.

[Update 4/18/17 6:48 PM PDT:  Holy fucking shit, the stupid never stops with these goddamned people (h/t to LGM commenter Outside Counsel):
"We love him," said Keith Muhlenbeck, 46. "We support him in everything he's doing. He's a businessman who knows how to get things done, and you can tell he has America's best interests at heart."

Washington pundits might be criticizing Trump for his recent reversals on a number of policy issues, including trade with China and the future of the Export-Import Bank. But Bobbi Muhlenbeck sees the president as a tough talker who stands his ground.

"I like that he doesn't back down," said Muhlenbeck's wife, 49.

Syrian dictator Bashir al-Assad found that out the hard way, her husband noted, citing Trump's decision to bomb a Syrian air base to retaliate for Assad's use of chemical weapons on his own people.

"This country used to stand for something, and now we're a joke," he said, arguing that former President Barack Obama projected weakness – something Trump obviously doesn't do.

"There's iron in the glove now," he said.

As for Trump's proposed budget cuts, Muhlenbeck doesn't worry that the food bank his family depends on will be forced to shut down.
"I'm sure they'll find the money somewhere," he said.


The Muhlenbecks, who live on government disability payments due to assorted ailments and injuries, were among about 200 people who lined up in a parking lot outside the Cornerstone Outreach Center for free groceries last week.

[emphasis added]

These morons are impossible to parody, but I sincerely hope they get what's coming to them. I'm beginning to see the appeal to being a Republican, where you don't have to pretend to give two shits about what happens to these thankless slobs when you cut them off from their free food and disability payments. Fuck 'em, good and hard. See how they like that "iron in the glove" when they're scrounging for garbage in the dumpster behind the donut shop by the tent city.]

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