Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Seven Days in May

Never a dull moment, eh? Let's recap just the major events of the past week:
  • Clownstick fires the FBI director.
  • Clownstick meets with the top two Russian diplomats in the Oval Office, deliberately excluding American media but including Russian state media. It's as if all sixteen American intelligence agencies hadn't, less than six months ago, agreed unanimously that Russia did something adverse to affect our electoral process. What could possibly go wrong with having a closed-door meeting with their top spies?
  • Clownstick initially claims Comey was fired for not handling But Her Emails' case properly, perhaps inadvertently proving the point of every "guilt-based confession" story (Tell-Tale Heart, Crime and Punishment, etc.).
  • Clownstick subsequently undermines his own rationales, as well as those of his staff. Comedy ensues as the gang tries in vain to get their stories straight.
  • Clownstick openly threatens Comey on Twitter. Every time Grampa Walnuts makes a boom-boom, a White House staff member clutches the ragged ulcer where their stomach used to be.
  • Remember that closed-door meeting with the Russians? Genius decides to show off to his new buddies and lets slip a piece of intel that is considered "code word classified"; that is, very tightly restricted and not to be shared with the fucking Russians. But (again) Her Emails, amirite?
  • It gets even better -- White House staff had to leak the piece about the intel leak just to get out in front of the Russians, so that they couldn't blackmail the Retard-in-Thief, or drop a nuclear news item in the next edition of Pravda. This is the kind of damage control last seen in Dr. Strangelove.
  • Turns out Comey takes notes of his more, shall we say, contentious meetings and conversations. More comic flailing.
  • Turns out Russian asset "General" Mike Flynn was known to be under investigation when the Clownstick transition team were vetting him. Plus Flynn blatantly lied on his background questionnaire. Plus Flynn, as a paid (and unlicensed) agent of the Turkish government, tried to put his thumb on the scale for them as well. No wonder the Drumpfkins liked him so much; mercenaries are alike in their ultimate loyalty. The rumor was that Flynn, seeing the writing on the wall, offered last month to turn state's evidence in exchange for full immunity, and was declined. It might be because they have enough to nail his treasonous balls to the wall, and so any horse trading is simply going to be a reduction, rather than an elimination, of the years Flynn will spend at Club Fed.
  • After unironically whining about armchair critics at a commencement address at Jerry Falwell Cracker College over the weekend, Princess Snowflake cranked up the waterworks for the US Coast Guard Academy, whinging as only he can about how the media are so meeeaaannn to him for reporting the things he says and does. Presumably 911 was called and they got him his binky until the waaahmbulance got there. Fucking pussy.
All this -- and more, I'm sure -- in just a week. This is more hare-brained bullshit than we saw in eight years of Obama. Can't say we're not getting value for our entertainment dollar here, folks.

One cool phenomenon has taken place for me, and I suspect at least a few other people. The anger and frustration I have felt for so many months about this situation has almost completely dissipated. I'm not kidding when I say that, as dumb and arrogant as I thought this asshole was after watching him hump 'murka's leg since the Eighties, it's no small surprise that he's found a way to turn out be dumber, meaner, more inept, more corrupt, than I could have imagined. Not just barely, but by a fucking country mile. This is a deeply stupid man who genuinely seems unaware just how coddled and insulated from reality his status in life has kept him.

Questions about whether he lies with intent, or whether he simply lives in some sort of (as Jacob Bacharach put it a while back) "collapsed distinction" between truth and falsehood, are moot. A person who continues to spin falsehoods for self-serving reasons, utterly indifferent to accuracy or probity, is just as bad as someone who is actively trying to put one over on you. The effect is certainly the same, anyway.

This goes for the Clownstick cultists as well. Shame on all the commentators and journamalists who insist on giving them a pass, or smugly lecture everyone else about how "this is why he won". He won because enough people didn't care what was true or not anymore, and wanted to throw a temper tantrum -- so what, are the rest of the country's citizens -- the majority, it must be pointed out -- supposed to give them a there, there, it'll be all right hug and validate their fucking feewings?

Why? Why is that the only answer; why are they never implored to grow the fuck up, read a book once in a while, maybe come around to the understanding that the rest of the world doesn't owe you a coal mining or auto manufacturing job? You are going to have to retrain, maybe get some more education, maybe even relocate. One candidate was prepared to help you do those things, the other one lied in your faces and dared you to not believe your own lyin' eyes.

Well, you fucked up -- you trusted the wrong guy, backed the wrong horse. So why are all the people who saw the dipshit con man for exactly what he was supposed to reach out and salve your butt-hurt? What the fuck ever happened to at least meeting each other halfway?

Whatever; we've gone over those questions ad nauseam since the election and before, and are no closer to an answer. Maybe there isn't one. Maybe it comes down to a couple of the core principles I've espoused consistently in here for well over a decade now:
  1. It is impossible to use logic and reason effectively with irrational people.
  2. People do not change until they understand that the cost of not changing is greater than the cost of changing.
These things are not elitist snark. They are facts. They are axiomatic, physical, mechanical laws of the universe, as sure and predictable as the Second Law of Thermodynamics. We would do well to keep these axioms in mind as things progress, as the snowball gains mass and speed, and the best laid plans gang aft agley.

So. Where do we go from here? Well, as I mentioned above, I have very little of the earlier anger and frustration I felt for so long, watching impotently as so many of my fellow countrymen willingly signed on to this inept asshole. And now it's starting to unravel, bigly. I will turn fifty years old ten days from now, and I would be lying if I said I didn't regard the imminent disintegration of this profoundly vile enterprise to be something of a rather timely present for a milestone birthday.

The cultists are already gnashing their teeth and rending their garments, aghast at the treacherous leakers and the infernal fake newsers who report their perfidy. They ignore what is right in front of them, that their hero is a fucking moron, that his only skill is reliving them of their wallets, of misusing and abusing their loyalty to him. They are still convinced that he is some sort of brilliant bidness mind, that his magnificence and unparalleled expertise will save us all.

Friends 'n' neighbors, let me add one more rule of thumb to the mix here:  Emperor Princess Snowflake Fuckface von Clownstick is to running a successful business what Michael Jackson was to child care, what Jim Jones was to making a tasty beverage, what Jeffrey Dahmer was to veganism. Look, it should be a clue to even the dimmest of bulbs that, even in the ultra-elite billionaires' club, none of the other members (giggity) of that club would be caught dead in the same photo frame as Snowflake Clownstick. I wonder if the real tycoons all know something that the angry crackers in the meeting room of the Pigs Knuckle, Arkansas Waffle House don't.

(See? See? That's why he got elected! Oh, go fuck yourself.)

As for the now-simmering debate over whether to impeach or to invoke the competency clause of the 25th Amendment, I would counsel patience for the time being. This is counter-intuitive, but true all the same. Bear in mind the two main core principles listed above, both of which apply directly to Clownstick's remaining supporters -- which, it should be noted, seem to still comprise a rather large percentage of his voters.

Again, it hasn't even been 120 days, even if it seems much longer (giggity). We saw all the stories, read all the interviews, saw all the profiles of these dumbasses. It's going to take time and an undeniable preponderance of evidence to get them to budge. They have to realize that the cost of sticking with a cynical grifter who is just using them is much greater than admitting (if only to themselves) that they fucked up, and need to drop him like the case of political gonorrhea that he really is.

What will make them come to that realization is the slow, patient, non-dramatic process of building a case, plank by plank, making sure that allegations and evidence are solid and irrefutable. This is exactly what is about to take place, and we have to let it happen. It may take months, or a full year, or even longer. Everything from delay tactics to seasonal recesses will bog down the process, make it take forever and a day. Keep in mind what's happened so far, and the delta -- the rate of acceleration -- that has been building the entire time.

Some are worried about a civil war, of butt-hurt rubes getting butt-hurt and taking to the streets. There will probably be a few isolated instances here and there, but a close reading of the Clownsticker profiles should alleviate most concerns. The most unhinged acolytes are, it turns out, the worst purveyors of the usual empty jabber. They are welcome to grab their AR-15s and mount their trusty Rascals, take to the streets, and see what that gets them. The vast majority of them are precisely what you think they are -- bitter cranks clogging their Facebook feeds with nonsense and lies.

In the meantime, I think Robert Mueller is a solid choice for special counsel. I think these guys are up to their asses in alligators, and they are starting to realize it. I think Page and Manafort, for starters, are people who realize that their literal asses will be traded for smokes and candy bars in the joint, and they will become very invested in avoiding that fate. I think that from here forward, even if the investigation falters and these fuckers get away with it all, every day spent holding their dicks to the grill is another day they can't implement their vicious agenda.

And in the end, perhaps Mencken was right, and nature really does abhor a moron, and that, combined with the other immutable physical laws of the universe, makes all the difference here. I hope so. I want to see every person involved with this clusterfuck rendered destitute, unemployable. They have betrayed their country for long enough already.


bs said...

Huh. I plead for you not to take a break, and then i realized it was ME who took a break. Movie reference for the title, 2nd Law o'Thermodynamics, physics with the Δshitstorm, multiple double entendres, & sage advice re: patience.
I freaked the fuck out when Bush the Lesser got appointed by Diana Rehnquist & the Supremes. He was clueless but at least he surrounded himself with a competent (albeit evil) staff (AGs excepted). We still ended up with 2 unwinnable wars and a global finacial meltdown. Prez Dunning-Kruger has the nucular football, (i've seen it on Twit!) and seriously wants to use it. I'm flashing back to the existential dread i felt at 10 when Raygun the actor got elected, but it's not chicken little, it's learn post-apocalyptic skills like chickening and fooding (you can tell I'm an expert already ;).
Congrats on 50! I got cancer last year at 45. I got better, in my best Monty Python voice (no active cancer anymore, but I'm coping with the joyous side effects of chemo & radiation). I am, however, on Medicaid and disability, so I'm treading on eggshells re: the "IGMFYAHCA". I'm much more afraid of Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver™ Ryan and Yertle McConnell than Prez D-K and his gang what can't shoot straight. I'm hoping their incompetence gets in the way of Congress' malevolence.

PS feel free to use any of my bits (Z-EGS isn't mine, LGM commenter mebbe?); you've been doin my bits already for years!

Heywood J. said...

I have seen ZEGS at LGM and Balloon Juice before, I like that one a lot and have shared it with a few friends in the meat-world. I steal good bits wherever I find them, and always get a kick when I see others poach one of mine.

Sorry to hear about the cancer and the treatments; I have heard that the chemo and radiation can be as bad as the disease itself, as far as how you feel day-today struggling against it. Having to struggle further against the psychopaths who run the gubmint doesn't help.

I have seen a few murmurs hinting at missing Shrub, since Clownstick blustered his way into office. I think you hit it on the head -- he was at least smart enough to surround himself with competent people, who happened to be on the same page already with the rented scabs in Congress. Clownstick, otoh, since he's the smartest person ever to walk the planet, believe me, uses flattery and loyalty, rather than mere competence, as criteria for selection.

Clearly Yertle and ZEGS and the rest of these animals know a rube when they see one, and assume they can take advantage of him to rob the American working class (what's left of it) all the same. And they're probably right. Reality teevee has turned just enough people into morons to select another table-flipping moron as their pro-wrestling "leader," just for the lulz.

Hang in there, get better soon!