Feeding Frenzy

The latest episode in Why We Have No Interest In "Working With" The Corporate Media is the JonBenét Ramsey story -- or rather, the sifting through of the excruciating minutiæ of the life and times of John Mark Karr. He ate prawns and drank champagne on the extradition flight back from Thailand. He wore his hair in a mullet back in the '80s, and once played the guitar at a friend's wedding. And so on.

It is vile; it is galling; it is profoundly, unforgivably ghoulish. And not because there's no story here. There most assuredly is. People have understandably become desensitized to the onslaught of shameful sensationalism, but the fact of the matter is that a little girl was raped and murdered in her own home on Christmas. Of course, it's more of a story because her family is wealthy and the murder occurred in the cushy enclave of Boulder, Colorado. Statistically, every night some inner-city kid meets a terrible fate, usually at the hands of his own parents. That, apparently, is not a story. Not as much soap-opera minutiæ for the intrepid investimagators to root their snouts through. Something. I don't know, and the perpetrators in the media are about as forthcoming as the scumbags they so breathlessly cover.

But again, there is a story to be covered in the Ramsey case, for the people who are serious about their profession. There are facts and data, there are conjectures from various people to weigh and compare. Evidence, scenario, timeline. Motive, means, opportunity. I have made no secret of my distaste for the goo-coated forensic porn shows that litter the landscape, but I do believe that there is some reason for their popularity aside from the obvious salacious trappings. This is borne out by those shows' slightly less-popular (but much longer running) Law & Order shows, though those too have devolved into Emmy-humping scenery-chewing showpieces with trick endings tacked onto them. People are interested in mysteries, even bad ones, and the process of solving them.

From what little of the coverage I've stumbled across en route to something else, and been able to stomach, MSNBC seems poised to capture the prize for quantity of crap. (Though, since I rarely watch CNN, I can only assume they're at least doing their damndest to keep up.) But here's the thing: on MSNBC, Keith Olbermann seemed really positioned for a while to be grooming a true flagship political show, with informative scoops, knowledgeable guests, and uncompromising commentary. Lately though, it's had a real dead-fish whiff about it, and the second half of each show has essentially dumbassified to a starfucking feedback loop. Olbermann looks like every mention of Tom Cruise or American Idol or now John Mark Karr brings him one step closer to sticking a gun in his mouth. And who could blame him? He didn't get into the business to shovel that kind of shit. Nobody in their right mind would.

Either there is pertinent information as to how, where, and why this little girl was viciously murdered, or there isn't. And cheap TV psychoanalysis does not lend clues on the "who" part. Karr is either a child murderer, a child molester, or a viewer of child pornography -- or more likely, some combination of the three. But breathless exposés on every dump the sick fuck takes are utterly without value, even the pathetic ephemeral "entertainment" value generally peddled by the offical starfuckers at Access Hollywood and the like. It's abuse, and it borders on the pornographic.

I understand that getting actual information relevant to the crime would require getting someone out to Boulder, and hoping that they can cultivate a useful source. But that's the gig, and you know what? Failing that, there's lots of other stories worthy of investigation; the fucking world's blowing up around you, and you're standing in the lobby of LAX yapping about fucking prawns and champagne.

And if that's what you consider earning an honest living in journamalism, maybe you should blow your brains out.

[Update 8/26/06 11:00AM PDT: A reader e-mails me with the somewhat reasonable imputation that I'm telling Olbermann to blow his brains out. Not the case. The point was that for the first half of the year, Olbermann was really giving "serious" newsies like Tweety and Scarborough a run for their money in getting guests and hitting serious topics, with just a modicum of culture fluff. I realize August is naturally a fluffy month for journamalists, and I submit that that is partly their own doing. If you're in the arena, and you think there's a problem, you're the one with at least a small opportunity to do something about it, besides trading fart jokes with Mo Rocca for five-minute segments and giving us John Mark Karr updates. Leave that lame shit to the Rita Cosbys of the world, and bring back the wood.]