Sambocracy

Have you heard the one about the values voters with the pickaninny merch booth?

Activists at a conservative political forum snapped up boxes of waffle mix depicting Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama as a racial stereotype on its front and wearing Arab-like headdress on its top flap.

Values Voter Summit organizers cut off sales of Obama Waffles boxes on Saturday, saying they had not realized the boxes displayed "offensive material." The summit and the exhibit hall where the boxes were sold had been open since Thursday afternoon.

The box was meant as political satire, said Mark Whitlock and Bob DeMoss, two writers from Franklin, Tenn., who created the mix. They sold it for $10 a box from a rented booth at the summit sponsored by the lobbying arm of the Family Research Council.

David Nammo, executive director of the lobbying group FRC Action, said summit organizers were told the boxes were a parody of Obama's policy positions but had not examined them closely.

Republican Party stalwarts Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney were among speakers at the forum, which officials said drew 2,100 activists from 44 states.

While Obama Waffles takes aim at Obama's politics by poking fun at his public remarks and positions on issues, it also plays off the old image of the pancake-mix icon Aunt Jemima, which has been widely criticized as a demeaning stereotype. Obama is portrayed with popping eyes and big, thick lips as he stares at a plate of waffles and smiles broadly.

Someone must have talked them out of their original idea, "I Hate Niggers Pancake Mix". I'm surprised these comic geniuses didn't think to, for example, PhotoShop the frazzled hairdo of everyone's favorite Little Rascal onto Obama's head, and call him "Barackwheat". That would have been otay.

More seriously, when your own candidate hasn't yet met a major position he couldn't rethink and posture himself conveniently about, it's a fucking stretch to try to find sport in your opponent's "waffling". See ladies, "satire" is not only supposed have an element of truth, it's supposed to highlight a trait which you yourself find abhorrent. It's not a rubber-glue rhetorical device for inbred retards and not-so-latent racists.

Not only were Neuter and Mittens at the rally, presumably leading the audience in several hearty stanzas of the Horst Wessel Song, but according to The Note, Miss Congeniality and the McCains were expected by the god-botherers to also personally appear at the conservatard Walpurgisnacht. Even they had more sense than that, apparently.

What does it say about how things have changed for McCain and evangelicals that he and Palin feel free to skip this weekend's Values Voters Summit?

"Mr. McCain and Mrs. Palin, the governor of Alaska, were invited to address this weekend's Values Voters Summit in Washington but are expected to be no-shows, leaving only Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich as two of the biggest political names scheduled to address the conclave of social conservatives," Ralph Z. Hallow writes in the Washington Times.

The Christian Broadcasting Network's David Brody: "The offer of a short video from vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin to folks at this weekend's Value Voters Summit has been turned down by its president, Tony Perkins. A source inside John McCain's campaign tells me that Palin was set to record the video Wednesday in Virginia before she left for Alaska. But when the McCain campaign approached Perkins about offering the video rather than a personal appearance Perkins said, according to numerous witnesses, 'That's not enough.' "

I guess after Fredo, Poor Ol' Straight Talk is fresh out of awkward bear hugs.

Nice crowd you roll with there, J-Mac.