In order to continue with its premise of completely ignoring Senator Bernie Sanders and his Trump-sized crowds, as well as providing constant coverage of every little thing Trump does, the corporate media has to come up with other things to cover. This week's model revolves around putting Trump's current main rival for the coveted Iowa caucus vote, alien-in-a-human-suit Ted Cruz, under the spotlight. The idea here is to build up Cruz and then pit him against Trump. Spoiler alert: they're both assholes.
Only in an ADD culture that no longer bothers to distinguish between has-beens and never-weres -- you know, the sort of interchangeable "hey, weren't you in...." saps that appeared on Trump's dopey fake-bidness show -- would it even be mentioned that a doddering cosplay hillbilly, whose stupid show jumped the shark a long time ago, is endorsing Cruz. So Phil Robertson thinks Ted Cruz would be a solid imperial custodian because Cruz believes in God and is willing to put on face paint and go duck hunting? Big fucking deal. Robertson also is on record as saying that liberals follow Satan and are worse than Stalin or the Nazis.
His idiot brother, whose schtick on the show is apparently to make people think he has a steel plate somewhere in his head, insists that atheists don't exist because they use the calendar and spend money. Yeah, if they HAD PRINCIPLES they'd live without money or knowing what day it is. Anyone taking advice from these goobers on picking good political leaders should be disenfranchised before they hurt someone. Fuck these morons in the neck with a rusty spoon.
More to the point, in what universe does an endorsement for any candidate from any teevee or movie person have any discernible effect? The only time it matters is when celebrities can muster enough star power to get people with money to host or donate to the five-figure-per-plate dinners. But the media present this nonsense as if it had any meaning.
These days, the person who wins the job is not the one who motivates the base; the base by definition are already motivated by hate for the opponent. The winner is the one who can persuade people to jump over to their side. Contrary to popular myth, George W. Bush did not win (or "win") in Florida in 2000 because Nader voters didn't vote as they were instructed to, he won because he persuaded enough registered Democrats to jump ship.
Seen in this light, Cruz' Duck Dynasty ploy is meant to poach likely Trump voters; it's not like that audience was itching to vote for Sanders or Hillary. In fact, there is probably close to 100% overlap between the average remaining Duck Dynasty viewer and the average Fox News viewer. Like small children, they thrive on repetition. They thrive on repetition. Repetition is what they thrive on.
Did I mention that these perpetually angry, fist-shaking codgers thrive on repetition?
So just as one Fixed Noise interlocutor is indistinguishable from the next as far as conveying the message that Preznit Chocolate Thunder is a bumbling tyrant and a closet mooooslim who hates 'murka, so every one of the Robertsons' contrived cosplay set pieces is cobbled around the same simple themes -- faith and fambly is all yew need (especially when you're filthy rich); them city foke think they're better'n yew; bright shiny thing go boom; buy as much of our fucking camo swag as your secured credit card will cover. In other words, the ideal Trump voter, fucking simpletons who enjoy being spoon-fed.
Obviously, Sanders and Trump are having the most dynamic success for the same reason, that people are (rightly) tired of feeling like they've been played, lied to, jerked around by careerist pols. The problem is that these same good proles seem to think that their righteous anger absolves them from all blame in their own fate.
Well, bullshit. If you voted for Bill Clinton after he told you he was going to send your manufacturing job to Mexico, then it's your own fault. If you voted for George W. Bush because you thought he'd be more fun to have a beer with, and Al Gore was a fag in a earth-tone suit, then it's your own fault. The fact is, ever since Reagan bamboozled people with his "morning in America" horseshit, the majority of Americans have quite willingly gone along with whatever their dark masters wanted. And it's even worse at the state and local levels. How many shitbirds are there in the US Senate, especially in the poorer states, the "taker" Southern states?
They've voted for poltroons and bastards for generations, from Strom Thurmond to Louie Gohmert to Fredo Arbusto, and now they wonder how it all got so fucked up. And worse yet, they want to fix all that with an even worse choice.
The problem is not the dopey politicians. It's the dopey media who promote them in an endless commercial loop, and the dopes who fall for it and pledge their vote and utter fealty. If they haven't figured out at this late stage of the game that it's a big racket and they're the eternal mark, they never will.
Only in an ADD culture that no longer bothers to distinguish between has-beens and never-weres -- you know, the sort of interchangeable "hey, weren't you in...." saps that appeared on Trump's dopey fake-bidness show -- would it even be mentioned that a doddering cosplay hillbilly, whose stupid show jumped the shark a long time ago, is endorsing Cruz. So Phil Robertson thinks Ted Cruz would be a solid imperial custodian because Cruz believes in God and is willing to put on face paint and go duck hunting? Big fucking deal. Robertson also is on record as saying that liberals follow Satan and are worse than Stalin or the Nazis.
His idiot brother, whose schtick on the show is apparently to make people think he has a steel plate somewhere in his head, insists that atheists don't exist because they use the calendar and spend money. Yeah, if they HAD PRINCIPLES they'd live without money or knowing what day it is. Anyone taking advice from these goobers on picking good political leaders should be disenfranchised before they hurt someone. Fuck these morons in the neck with a rusty spoon.
More to the point, in what universe does an endorsement for any candidate from any teevee or movie person have any discernible effect? The only time it matters is when celebrities can muster enough star power to get people with money to host or donate to the five-figure-per-plate dinners. But the media present this nonsense as if it had any meaning.
These days, the person who wins the job is not the one who motivates the base; the base by definition are already motivated by hate for the opponent. The winner is the one who can persuade people to jump over to their side. Contrary to popular myth, George W. Bush did not win (or "win") in Florida in 2000 because Nader voters didn't vote as they were instructed to, he won because he persuaded enough registered Democrats to jump ship.
Seen in this light, Cruz' Duck Dynasty ploy is meant to poach likely Trump voters; it's not like that audience was itching to vote for Sanders or Hillary. In fact, there is probably close to 100% overlap between the average remaining Duck Dynasty viewer and the average Fox News viewer. Like small children, they thrive on repetition. They thrive on repetition. Repetition is what they thrive on.
Did I mention that these perpetually angry, fist-shaking codgers thrive on repetition?
So just as one Fixed Noise interlocutor is indistinguishable from the next as far as conveying the message that Preznit Chocolate Thunder is a bumbling tyrant and a closet mooooslim who hates 'murka, so every one of the Robertsons' contrived cosplay set pieces is cobbled around the same simple themes -- faith and fambly is all yew need (especially when you're filthy rich); them city foke think they're better'n yew; bright shiny thing go boom; buy as much of our fucking camo swag as your secured credit card will cover. In other words, the ideal Trump voter, fucking simpletons who enjoy being spoon-fed.
Obviously, Sanders and Trump are having the most dynamic success for the same reason, that people are (rightly) tired of feeling like they've been played, lied to, jerked around by careerist pols. The problem is that these same good proles seem to think that their righteous anger absolves them from all blame in their own fate.
Well, bullshit. If you voted for Bill Clinton after he told you he was going to send your manufacturing job to Mexico, then it's your own fault. If you voted for George W. Bush because you thought he'd be more fun to have a beer with, and Al Gore was a fag in a earth-tone suit, then it's your own fault. The fact is, ever since Reagan bamboozled people with his "morning in America" horseshit, the majority of Americans have quite willingly gone along with whatever their dark masters wanted. And it's even worse at the state and local levels. How many shitbirds are there in the US Senate, especially in the poorer states, the "taker" Southern states?
They've voted for poltroons and bastards for generations, from Strom Thurmond to Louie Gohmert to Fredo Arbusto, and now they wonder how it all got so fucked up. And worse yet, they want to fix all that with an even worse choice.
The problem is not the dopey politicians. It's the dopey media who promote them in an endless commercial loop, and the dopes who fall for it and pledge their vote and utter fealty. If they haven't figured out at this late stage of the game that it's a big racket and they're the eternal mark, they never will.
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