God's Pharmacy

Much has been said about the current vogue of paladin pharmacists unilaterally invoking God's Divine Will at such cathedrals as Walgreen's and Rite-Aid. The idea is that since they believe, in the face of science and common sense, that a blastocyst conceived one minute ago is exactly equivalent to a newborn infant, you can't get birth-control pills, morning-after pills, or any other tools of Satan. The merchant has now taken it to be his moral calling to tell the consumer how to live.

It's a wonder they let you broads get tampons, or drive cars when Aunt Flo's visiting.

Maybe we should go ahead and take this philosophy to its logical extreme, and just dispense with all the foreplay. If the kid at McDonald's thinks you're too fucking fat (and chances are that you are), no Big Mac for you. Have a nice salad, Tubby. Your cholesterol-clogged heart will thank me later.

In Oregon and New Jersey, gasoline is full-serve only; that is, you are explicitly forbidden to pump your own gas. An otherwise unemployable minion comes out and does it for you. Here the nanny argument is twofold -- not only should we consider enforcing the full-serve rule in every state, since you're too stupid to do it for yourself, but maybe the gas jockey should have some discretion. Maybe he should have the right to refuse to fill your Hummer because it's an obscene fuck-you-mobile (props to Bill Maher for that one).

Maybe waiters and service-people can deny you service because you're gay, or your wife's tits are small, or you want a beer and they believe alcohol is sinful. You get the idea.

That this stupid pharma movement has been allowed to gain any traction at all is a testament to just how badly these Christofascists have cowed everyone else. There are more of us than there are of them, people. (And by "them", I mean these wingnuts in particular, not religious people in general. I shouldn't even have to point that out, but I do.)

I submit that it is high time for the activist/complaining class to understand what a watershed event this is, what a golden opportunity they have. Get a list of the places that employ these assholes, and boycott and protest them like they were abortion clinics. Publish their names and addresses and phone numbers on the internets.

Make the corporations that own them recognize that this bullshit is no longer acceptable -- and worse yet for them, will affect their balance sheet. Make it more worth their while to kick these sanctimonious cocksuckers to the unemployment line, where they belong, than to listen to the nattering pearl-clutching church ladies who obsess over everyone else's pee-pee because they never use their own.

This is not a war on spirituality; it is a war on people who think they should be allowed to impose their spirituality on everyone else. It is high time we drew that line in the sand, before we get steamrolled.