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Saturday, September 17, 2005

Bush Family Values

I'm not sure offhand how many kids John Ellis "Call me Jeb, neighborino!" Bush has, but can any of them stay out of trouble?

The youngest son of Florida Gov. Jeb Bush was arrested early Friday and charged with public intoxication and resisting arrest, law enforcement officials said.

John Ellis Bush, 21, was arrested by agents of the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission at 2:30 a.m. on a corner of Austin's Sixth Street bar district, said commission spokesman Roger Wade.


Heh indeedy. Drunk and disorderly, jes' like Uncle Shithead. And it's not as if Junior's own siblings haven't been role models for this sort of behavior:

Noelle Bush, the governor's daughter, was arrested in January 2002 and accused of trying to pass a fraudulent prescription at a pharmacy to obtain the anti-anxiety drug Xanax. She completed a drug rehabilitation program in August 2003 and a judge dismissed the drug charges against her.


That's not the entire story, not at all. Noelle Bush also was caught shoplifting in 1995, and was caught with crack cocaine while in rehab. Love how they try to gentrify her though, as if she were just another suburban hausfrau with a little Xanax jones. She's a longtime abuser of street as well as prescription drugs, and the only reason she hasn't done hard time is because of her last name. Too bad the hundreds of thousands of misbegotten souls currently doing time for picayune drug offenses don't have that kinda luck.

And for some reason, Pravda also left out entirely oldest Jeb son George Prescott (a.k.a. "P") Bush, who did a lawn job on a girlfriend's yard at 4AM, and got into an altercation with her father. Check out the details on P, Noelle, and the rest of that vile clan in my seminal Bush family post Top Ten Scions Of The Bush Dynasty, and be sure to float Pravda a reminder that they're downplaying some relevant facts here.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, I guess this gives young Jeb another two decades or so of rambunction swashbuckling--then he gets religion, discovers Jebus, and runs for the crown of the American Empire as Jeb II (his own daddy will have run his two mandates by then). He could then confer on matters of foreign policy with former emperors Jeb I and George II (who probably by then will have about three airports and seven highways named after him, plus his effigy on the $500 bill, much in need after the Chinese recall their T-bills). While they're at it, they could also get another Bush's face on the money--old Babs'. All we need is a few slight Photoshop retouches to old Washington's face.

Hey, I spent most of the day today reading your past posts, Hammer (I was also nursing a bad hangover in the process; graduate students' parties are a bitch ;-). I know they say time is a non-fungible resource, but it was time well spent. Keep it up, I'm glad I have now a few places to read the real news.

--Marius, Auslander on the East Coast

Anonymous said...

Ah, and I forgot something. This shit's hysterical. Fo' real. And God knows we need laughter these days--it's the only cathartic antidote we've got to creeping insanity. So, yeah... Good stuff.

--Same

Heywood J. said...

Thanks, Marius. I've been enjoying reading your comments on several posts lately. I note that you keep referring to yourself as a "foreigner", but I actually appreciate the take of someone who hasn't been steeped in American culture and mores their entire life.

I think Americans need more perspectives on the situation, instead of instantly relegating someone's opinion back just because they're Dutch or Swedish or whatever. They'll never admit it, but I believe many Americans have a bit of an inferiority complex when it comes to dealing with Europeans especially. Because they're all slammed together geographically, Euros tend to know a lot of history and usually several languages. We're spoiled by our geography, so many of us are incompetent even in our mother tongue, and can scarcely find Canada on a map. So we project our anxieties by insisting that Euros are a bunch of disco-dancing pussies and espresso-swilling fops. This is mainly because Americans assume that the entire continent is France.

I'm definitely glad you're checking out the archives -- I periodically check back on them to see if any of my rash predictions come to fruition or whatever. They hold up better than I had expected.

As for your assessment of young Jeb, god I hope not. They are quietly trying to get his older brother "P"'s political career in motion; P has spoken at several mid- to high-profile functions for his uncle over the past few years. I would not at all be surprised to see the VRWC machine start "branding" his name on conservatards pretty soon. Puff pieces in the Weekly Standard and such, to start.

I fear we may never be rid of this pox of a dynasty. One small ray of hope, of sorts, was in a talk with Gore Vidal I was listening to recently. Vidal remarked that the Adamses burned very brightly for the first few generations (John; John Quincy; Henry), but after Henry, they sort of collapsed under their own weight and burned out, most of them useless alcoholics.

This seems to be the direction the Bushes are heading; out of five kids, Jeb seems to be the only halfway intelligent one, but all of his kids are chronic fuckups and substance abusers.

So perhaps we are witnessing the glacial burnout of this family of grifters and robber barons. Good riddance to them.

Anonymous said...

I was actually trying to be facetious about Jeb Jr. (although you never know what this bitch lady history has in store for you, or whether people aren't so reliably stupid that they'll do what you fear most). But, if this citizenry has any sense and intelligence left, they'll know that this goddamn collection of crooks and dunces, the Bushies, have become radioactive. And, piggybacking on that, I also hope Texas's time in Americna politics will have passed for a few decades. No more posturing cowboys, no more daddy's-in-charge shenanighans, no more brush-clearin' "good men" steering the country, with that broadbacked-white-boys-defending-the-fort-against-the-Indjuns attitude. I wish Texas left us alone for a while.

As to what a European's perspective might contribute to the present situation, I don't know what to say. Yes, I know several languages, but it's because I come from a rather small country, and you have to learn them if you want Europe to listen to you (and I see you're doing mighty fine when it comes to juggling foreign idiolects yourself). One specifically European contribution might be the inevitable skepticism toward one's gub'mint (sometime peppered with a dose of cynicism, which some of my American friends take to be a sort of moral failure--God knows why). It's understandable for Europeans--thing went pretty badly for a good while in East Europe, where I come from, while Western Europeans have learned not to trust too much governments that have started two continental wars. But when I came to the States (for more than just a graduate degree, shortly before 9/11) I was all full of enthusiasm--after all, this is supposed to be freedom's land and bravery's home, as Vidal says (mockingly); moreover, it had the first democratic revolution that went on relatively peacefully (compared to the debacle of 1789, at least). It's supposedly the most advanced liberal democracy; the leader in technological inovation, all that. So, all the more reasons to be excited about America. And it has a lot of great things, undeniably--including some terrific people. But you can't help but be dismayed at some of the things that go on these days in American politics and public culture--the resurgence of 1930s-like fascism, narrow-minded religious obscurantism drapped in self-righteousness, corporate crookery stealing the whole country from the people's very noses--it's all very depressing. And the thing is that, unfortunately, America is not Finland; you can't write it off for a few decades with a sympathetic nod, mumbling "God help them, I hope they get better." No; when America sneezes, the world catches a cold, as they say. Plus, it wields the mighty nuclear sword, to use again Vidal's crafty phrases. And the even more depressing thing is that all these sinister changes occur in the face of an electorate that could prevent all this, if only they bothered to turn their eyes away from Monday night's football for a while.

But I'd like to say there's hope; first, on a more immediate plane: I see that, despite the reigning madness, the light of reason is flickering, but hasn't gone out; there's still plenty of reasonable, intelligent people who see through the bullshit (this blog included). And, if that doesn't work, you can always turn Hegelian and say that the dialectic has to swing all the way to one side for things to really change afterwards. Who knows, maybe in a decade or so, after these thieves are nearly done robbing the country blind, people will finally wake up and you'll have another real labor movement, or perhaps a real left-wing party, or at least universal healthcare and a decent system of public education. That would be nice.

In the meanwhile, keep doing what you do best. Moi, j'y suis, j'y reste. And I'll refer your blong to some real good people I know.

--Marius