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Thursday, September 22, 2005

Say Hello To My Li'l Friend

Jeb Bush must be tapping into his daughter's stash.

Last week, after “more than an hour of solemn ceremony” swearing in Rep. Marco Rubio (R-FL) as House speaker, Gov. Jeb Bush stepped to the podium to tell “a short story about ‘unleashing Chang,’ his ‘mystical warrior’ friend.”

Below, courtesy of the Gainesville Sun, are Bush’s words, “spoken before hundreds of lawmakers and politicians”:

“Chang is a mystical warrior. Chang is somebody who believes in conservative principles, believes in entrepreneurial capitalism, believes in moral values that underpin a free society.

“I rely on Chang with great regularity in my public life. He has been by my side and sometimes I let him down. But Chang, this mystical warrior, has never let me down.”

Bush then unsheathed a golden sword and gave it to Rubio as a gift.

‘’I'm going to bestow to you the sword of a great conservative warrior,'’ he said, as the crowd roared.


Okay, for one, why does it take an hour of ritual navel-gazing to swear in the speaker for the House from America's Wang? But yeah, the obvious -- what the fuck is Jeb Bush huffing, modeling cement laced with spray paint and insecticide?

Remember when everyone guffawed at Hillary for her pretending to communicate with Eleanor Roosevelt, or whatever that was? Wanna bet that this doesn't get 1/100th the coverage?

Hell, and all this time I figured Jeb for the only halfway intelligent Bush brother. But that motherfucker's crazy. These weirdos and their invisible friends, I swear.

3 comments:

Mitch said...

What the fuck is that. No, seriously. What the fuck is wrong with this guy. Is this a joke? What's wrong with this family?

I've been thinking that nepotism and its bastard child, cronyism, aren't necessarily intrinsically corrupt practices. In fact, it seems a natural progression to hand down success from one generation to the next; or in the case of cronyism, to share the wealth within an incestuous structure of friends and associates.

What is disturbing is the lack of candor and openness about this process, and the "what the fuck are you gonna do about it?" posture with which they conduct their affairs.

I can be objective. Who gives a shit what I think? They're filthy rich. By virtue of their birthright, they're free to bang whores and young boys, to moralize to the masses, and then laugh it off over a line of blow. Sweet gig.

Anonymous said...

So now we know that the members of the Imperial Family come in two categories: hopeless dimwits and outright crazies. Of course, there's the occasional Bushie, like old Babs, who are just hateful. Witness Dick Nixon, awestruck at her capacity to hate.

Is the Sunshine State run by a bunch of kooky individuals? I mean, besides Jeb's recent outburst, there also was this business of Katherine Harris getting Florida to pay a hefty amount for some batshit scheme involving "holy water" blessed by some wild-eyed rabbi that supposedly would cure all of Florida's problems, from sharbites to budget deficits. Shouldn't these people be on heavy medication, or something?

--Marius

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