When Conservatives Attack

I'm only marginally familiar with the work of Werner Herzog; the only film of his I've seen all the way through was My Best Fiend, mainly because I knew Klaus Kinski was such a fucking weirdo. But I liked that movie quite a lot. It's grim and intense, not unlike Kinski himself was.

When I heard about Herzog's new film, Grizzly Man, I inwardly grimaced and recoiled for a moment. I had seen Timothy Treadwell on Letterman several years ago, and was underwhelmed by the sheer naïvete of his putative idealism. Letterman stated the obvious at the time by asking Treadwell how long it would be before we would all be reading about him being eaten by his "friends". I think Treadwell epitomized the cliché that Disney has fucked up the minds of Americans, because of its incessant anthropomorphizing of what are indisputably wild, dangerous animals.

Treadwell and his girlfriend were eaten alive by bears that they had "cohabited" with on an island preserve, living among them, observing their habits, even giving them twee names. Needless to say, this turned out to be a huge mistake on their part. That's the part they didn't show you in Bambi or The Jungle Book. The bears ultimately did what bears do, and not only did Treadwell and his girlfriend pay with their lives for this tremendous misunderstanding, but so did the bear, as rangers had to be dispatched to shoot the creature for following its instinct. As they say, a fed bear is a dead bear.

I was reminded of this little vignette this morning, between the encomia for William Rehnquist and the announcement of John Roberts as his appointed replacement.

Rehnquist, not unlike Treadwell's beloved grizzlies, did what people like him do -- perform as an abject functionary for the explicit political purposes of those who installed him. He was quite open about wanting to revert Roe v. Wade to a "states' rights" issue, never mind the insane notion that women in Mississippi should not have the exact same rights as women in California or New York.

Like all "states' rights" advocates, Rehnquist was very selective in the application of this principle, thus putting the lie to all the tiresome "First Principles" idiots. It's very simple -- if states (or more specifically, their citizens) should have the right to abrogate women's collective right to choose, they should conversely be allowed to decide if they wish to permit the medical use of marijuana, or the right to medically-assisted suicide (with all the attendant checks and balances, of course). On those issues Rehnquist suddenly became staunchly federalist.

Rehnquist made a clear pattern of coming down on the side of the most repressive facets of American culture, from mandated school prayer to tax-exempt status for racist institutions like Bob Jones "University". So to see someone like Chuck Schumer attempt to be ecumenical about everything indicates that he, like Treadwell, misunderestimates the nature of the creatures he thinks have some sort of inter-species mind-meld with him.

Sure enough, between the lowering of the flags for Rehnquist -- after possibly tens of thousands dead or dying along the Gulf Coast, they'll do it for Rehnquist -- Bush shifts to Gary Cooper mode and announces that he wants John "Bob" Roberts to take Rehnquist's Chief Justice seat, rather than O'Connor's associate seat. I am not a SCOTUS chaser, so I don't know offhand whether or not such a move has a precedent. I imagine it could, though probably not with a jurist of such thin background.

It's the timing of it all which bespeaks the tremendous cynicism and bad faith in which these people do everything. It underscores the points I and many others have been making about how it's always time for politics, because they never slow down. I don't know how many times something like this has to occur before these people get it -- with Bush and Rove and Cheney and the rest of them, every single thing is political.

Think about it -- Bush could have easily talked O'Connor into stepping into Rehnquist's seat, and kept the Roberts appointment underway, full steam ahead. Probably no one would have batted an eyelash; it would have allowed O'Connor to set a precedent, and Roberts' confirmation has been all but a done deal for a while. I'd bet the odds are pretty good that O'Connor would have postponed her retirement for a year or so for such an opportunity, especially since it would have helped out her Republican brethren logistically. There would have been two very brief confirmation processes there.

Or, they could have bumped Scalia up to CJ -- Scalia, after all, has put in the time, and has certainly been a reliable lackey for them. Take him pheasant-hunting and he spreads like Jenna Jameson. Cheap whores are always better because you save some money, and no one cares what they looked like once everyone sobers up. I'm not sure what the exact reason is, but there has to be one that they didn't give it to Scalia.

And all of this should have been at least briefly delayed to begin with. There is a reason they have rushed this, between 24/7 hurricane coverage and the anniversary of 9/11. They know the nation is very distraught and distracted; what better time to take advantage? They're like a guy who picks up chicks at funerals.

The only explanation that makes sense so far is that Rove wants a fight. He understands better than most that most people do not fight well on their heels, which is exactly why he makes sure to keep the Democrats in that position as often as possible. That and he also understands that the rule applies across the board, so he has to keep his own party from such a fighting stance.

And they are pretty much in that stance right now. A combative, forceful opposition party would, as I said earlier, see the cuts and lesions forming above the Republicans' collective eye and start working it with a vengeance. The Iraq War is an expensive failure. Bush fucked around while New Orleans drowned (and Cheney is nowhere to be found -- new slogan, eh?). Domestic policies are an unfunny joke. Everything these people have touched has turned to shit, and the aftermath of Katrina and the concomitant gas prices may very well trigger a collapse of the housing bubble, and a serious recession. A marginally competent opposition party would be all over every one of these vital issues like stink on shit.

Instead they, like the hapless Tim Treadwell, continue to think that playing nice with the bears will at least keep them from getting eaten.