Saturday, August 25, 2007

Let's All Go to the Lobby

I think everyone should have their own lobby. Mine would emphasize the importance of seeing to my regular care and maintenance, or at least high volumes of top-shelf booze and surf-and-turf. Also getting me back up into the coveted 100-hits-per-day club (dare to dream, boy, dare to dream). Someone else should do my day job, too, thus giving me more time to laissez les bon-temps roulez, reading, playing guitar, and searching for gratuitous nipple shots on Cinemax.

Clearly the act of paying some soulless bloodsucker to relentlessly hump the right legs is the mother's milk which lubricates the system under which we live and work and grasp for our share. How else is a humble public servant supposed to turn someone else's money into heaps of pelf, other than to attach themselves remora lamprey-like to a profitable host for consultancy?

It's not just Barbour Griffith & Rogers, and it's not just Ayad Allawi. Ten different U.S. firms are registered through the Department of Justice's Foreign Agents Registration Act database as having active contracts with various Iraqi factions.

And I'm sure each of them will make lots and lots of cash off all this misery. I suppose someone should.


woodguy said...

Shouldn't "remora-like" read "lamprey-like"? A remora just follows it's host around, while a lamprey is a true parasite, i,e sucks the life blood out of it's host until the host dies and then moves on to the next. Or say, one is a neighbor and the other an occupying force-benign versus hostile.

Just saying. Again, your turn of phrase and use of metaphor are to be envied.

Heywood J. said...

Yeah, I like that imagery much better, so I've updated the post. Thanks for the heads-up and the props.