Friday, August 31, 2007

Take This Job and Love It

Job seekers! Are you interested in a fast-paced, high-stakes position in shoveling unmitigated bullshit? Do you wake up every morning trying to figure out another way to sell your soul? Is your favorite hobby traitor-baiting credulous media chumps? Then we have your dream gig right here! The pay is only $168K/year, but the experience will follow you the rest of your life. Fight the dumb fight and call us today at 382-546-5427 (FUC-KIN-LIAR). Or just use Jeff Gannon™'s backdoor pass.


Ripley said...

Heh fuckin' indeed!

woodguy said...

It might educate us all in the skewed perspective of a priveleged insider of the cesspool that today passes for governace to analyse what a former fair and balanced mind expects us to take from this stellar exit performance. But first let us hope that Mr. Snow's suffering will be minimal and his recovery both speedy and complete, lest these comments be compared to those of his former collegues at a network which will remain unnamed-- you know, those that speculated endlessly about the strategic machinations of the Edwards' campaign and how it might seek to use Elizabeth Edwards' disease diagnosis to gain some sort of advantage by capturing the "sympathy vote". And how about that Al Gore, who had the chutzpa to bring up his sister's lung cancer in the 2000 go-round.
We won't go there because we are, well, different from their ilk.

Mr. Snow tells us he "ran out of money", and thus must tear himself away from a tedious 14-hour a day job (presumably 7 hours of spinning and another 7 to unwind) and all the rigors that he endures so he can write and avail himself of a more lucrative, but perhaps no more honest, occupation. God save him from having to live on a mere $168,000 for another poverty stricken year. Perhaps the poor average slob that makes due on about a fourth of what the taxpayers paid him last year will be kind enough to write him and relay some budgetary pointers, even tell him how to pay his enormous health care bills or even obtain medical care sans health insurance (hint, it has to do with emergency rooms, as I recall). Then there's always trying to live within your means. But I digress.

It is a mite confusing what he tells his children on the way to work for the Shrub WH, though: "We've finally saved up all this money and done all these things, and you're just going to have to give them away." If he had saved all that money, why was a loan necessary at the very inception of his new job? And did he charge the kids' tricycles on his American Express card and now they'll be repossesed? Will they have to be cleansed of the memories of all they've done? Perhaps those brand spanking new pesky bankruptcy laws should be repealed.

While I feel genuine sympathy for Tony, how far removed from the real world he and his fellow band of thieves appear to be, while we plebes and philestines seem able to slog though harder times on a daily basis with nary a wimper, with no recognition from the ruling class to which he belongs, and of which he will likely remain a member into the forseeable future, his childrens' sacrifices notwithstanding.

Yes Tony, Life's a bitch, even more so if you're not sucking on the taxpayer's teat.

Roberto Iza said...

I were interested in such a deal,
I would come to you, rest assured.