Monday, March 30, 2015

Reid 'em and Weep

Look, I'll be the first to say it -- Harry Reid is such a tool, he should have a handle coming out of his back for easier control. A corrupt nepotist through and through, Reid is said to have been the model for Senator Pat Geary in Godfather II. It could just as easily be the other way around. Regardless, he has been an effective advocate for his spacious, unpopulated state of angry grifters and degenerate gamblers, even if they don't appreciate it.

But the conspiracies from the lunafringe about Reid's recent facial injury rival those regarding Hillary Clinton's murderous lesbianism. Thanks to Rush Limbaugh, the corn-dog-eating doofus from Powerline, and a gaggle of associated useful idiots, the hot conspiracy rumor is that Reid pissed off a mobster, who then decided to slap him around. (Added bonus:  the idea that Rush Limbaugh would have one-tenth of a clue about the potentially injurious -- or otherwise -- effects of exercise equipment.)

Forget the fact that people get injured by exercise bands snapping into their faces with surprising frequency, and that children and old people get injured the worst. You really can lose an eye doing that. The interesting part is that this is the conspiracy theory they came up with, that a Vegas Mafioso -- an extinct breed these days -- bitch-slapped Reid, a powerful US Senator, for getting out of line.

See, nowadays our thugs are corporate. The closest thing Vegas has to a true mobster is Sheldon "Bugsy" Adelson. The palm-greasing, favor-trading, influence-peddling, the passing of thick envelopes, those activities still exist, just as they do in DC. But the days of Anthony Spilotro, of Moe Greene slapping Fredo Corleone around because he's banging cocktail waitresses two at a time, are long gone.

Nobody stuck Dirty Harry's head in a vise. He's just a klutzy old man who got smacked by a giant rubber band.

For some real insight into the mentality at work here (and I normally would never link to this sort of crap, but you have to see it to believe it), note this breathless recounting of what "Harry Reid's constituents" did, a particularly ugly case of child abuse and pornography (yes, ugly even by the disgusting standards of that category). Actually, "breathless recounting" is far too kind -- they really just copied and pasted a Daily Mail piece almost in its entirety, and dumped their own cogent analysis of the whole sordid tale:

So just in case you had ever wondered what kind of people would elect Harry Reid as their senator, now you know.

Well, no, asshole, we don't know, because you've provided no evidence whatsoever that these animals voted at all, much less that they voted specifically for Harry Reid. Maybe they voted for John Ensign, or Sharron Angle. Are we holding every political entity responsible for their worst supporters?

But that's always been their standard for lobbing accusations and innuendo, pulling assertions directly out of their asses and passing them off as facts. I suppose these dopey snipe hunts at least keep these rubes from doing any real damage for the time being.

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