So here's what I have been hearing and reading in many, many places, tremendous places: Canadian Drumpfkins were identified with a simple online recruitment survey two weeks before the election, paid $100 cash each, and bused across the Ambassador Bridge to Detroit, where rather than actually voting, they sabotaged the machines, clogged lines at precincts to prolong wait times, and stood behind the count teams at recount precincts, shouting random numbers in order to throw off the vote counts. American Drumpfkins were also bribed similarly to vote-pack swing state precincts. These are facts, and any attempt to deny or obscure these facts is just FAKE NEWS.
We'll come up with one of these little nuggets o' truthiness every Saturday for the near future. If anyone's still reading, please feel free to disseminate far and wide. The truth must be set free!