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Friday, February 11, 2005

Operation Kevlar Turban™: The Propaganda Campaign Begins

Secretary of Utter Incompetence -- uh, I mean State -- yeah, State Condoleeeezzzza Rice brings out the Can Opener Of Doom™, with which we shall watch the Ultimate Can Of Whup-Ass™ be opened diplomatically throughout spring and summer sweeps.

"....Iran must live up to its international obligations to halt its nuclear program or "the next steps are in the offing."...."And I think everybody understands what the 'next steps' mean," Rice told reporters after a meeting with NATO foreign ministers and European Union officials.


No. We have no idea what the "next steps" will be. Seriously. Suppose you explain them to us, because right now, it looks like we shot our wad next door in the Supreme Islamic Republic of Iraq, which is planning to join forces with Iran and form the superstate of "Chalabistan".



"It's obvious that if Iran cannot be brought to live up to its international obligations that, in fact, the IAEA (International Atomic Energy Agency) statutes would suggest that Iran has to be referred to the U.N. Security Council," she said.


Uh-huh. And then? See, Iran has this sweet deal going with our good friend Pooty-Poot, who runs Russia, which is one member of the UN Security Council. The rest of the Council, aside from us, is populated by Euros who are fine with using the diplomatic carrot right now. What, you think Tony Blair is itching to saddle up again or something, while his ass is on the line this year and he's still got troops in Basra?



"We believe this is a time for diplomacy," the secretary said Wednesday, adding that human rights in Iran and Tehran's sponsoring of terror groups are also causes for concern.


Diplomacy generally involves using one of two methods -- carrot or stick. With Iran, our approach seems to be stick and bigger stick. Not that these mullahs aren't pricks, but do we actually have a productive means to an end here, or are we just doing our diplomacy dance? This time next year, will Condi Rice be walking past the covered-up Guernica to somberly intone about what we "know" and "can prove", à la Colin Powell? Doesn't your ass start to hurt after a while when you just keep on pulling "facts" straight out of it?



The IAEA has the authority to refer Iran to the Security Council, but the group's board of governors has refrained from doing so in seven meetings on the topic in the past two years.

Mark Gwozdecky, a spokesman for the IAEA, said the governors have reaffirmed their support for the inspection process at each meeting "as long as inspectors are making progress and not being obstructed, and as long as Iran appears to be cooperating."

The board next meets February 28, Gwozdecky said.


Keep your eyes on this one, the IAEA report. They haven't blinked in two years, and there's no reason to think they will now. So the next option is to disavow and downplay their report as loudly and publicly as possible. Maybe tap the phones and insist that al-Baradei is getting paid off by the mullahs. Don't even have to prove it; once it's been said, it's hard to unring that bell.

There may not be a timetable yet, but the drawing up of it is about to commence. Grab some popcorn and settle in.

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