Bush Comes To Shovel

This is what happens Fredo tries to wing it, brain squirming like a toad, as the song says, just a blithering mess of non-sequiturs and mangled syntax. I know, we're just shocked.

Some highlights:

_"Politics comes and goes, but your principles don't. And everybody wants to be loved — not everybody. ... You never heard anybody say, `I want to be despised, I'm running for office.'"

_"The best thing about my family is my wife. She is a great first lady. I know that sounds not very objective, but that's how I feel. And she's also patient. Putting up with me requires a lot of patience."

_"There are jobs Americans aren't doing. ... If you've got a chicken factory, a chicken-plucking factory, or whatever you call them, you know what I'm talking about."

_"There are some similarities, of course" between Iraq and Vietnam. "Death is terrible."

_"I've been in politics long enough to know that polls just go poof at times."

As he has before, Bush told the story about how his first presidential decision was to pick a rug for the Oval Office, a task he quickly cast to his wife. He told her to make sure the rug reflected optimism "because you can't make decisions unless you're optimistic that the decisions you make will lead to a better tomorrow."

Later, when he talked about his hope for succeeding in Iraq, Bush said, "Remember the rug?"

"Remember the rug?". If anything aptly sums up the incompetent, incoherent, mendacious nonsense that has passed for policy with this gang, that single phrase does, in all its helpless vacuity.

Special Family Fun Bonus: Joe Klein tries to get in on the fun, and is immediately ripped a new one by roughly 90% of his commenters, one of whom was kind enough to post a few snippets of Klein's previous wisdom:

Thanks for the memories, Joe.


- - - - -
Al Gore:
"a smug, stubborn, and aloof human being"
"harsh and stupid"
"Gore's populism reeked of resentment and neurosis"
"looked like a madman"

- - - - -
John Kerry:
effete, awkward, aristocratic, Frenchy jerk

- - - - -
Newt Gingrich:
"an intellectually honest policy wonk"

"It's almost always a joy listening to Gingrich when he's on a tear."

"I don't want to say Gingrich has mellowed--the staccato feistiness is still there"

- - - - -
John McCain:
"the avatar of a new passage in American politics"

- - - - -
Rudy Giuliani:
"reduced crime rates in the 1990s."

As many of them point out, it's ridiculous for Klein -- or anyone -- to refer to Bush's performance (on softball questions, no less) as "unbelievable". It's entirely believable; have you not heard this person try to speak extemporaneously before? That's what so sad about it -- it's completely consistent with what Bush has done all along, bumbling and rambling, finding new and innovative ways to fuck up the same boilerplate he's been thrilling these mouth-breathers with for years now.

"Unbelievable". Sorry Joe, I don't think that word means what you think it means.