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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Top Ten Questions at the Values Voter Debate

Sounds like a good time.

10. "Which one of you guys promises to take that smutty Singing Bee off the air?"

9. "How do you plan on being as fundamentally indecent as the current occupants?"

8. "I don't have a question; I just wanted to let you all know that I'll probably vote for whoever picks that Sarah Palin as a running mate."

7. "Who do you think God wants us to nuke first, Iran or France?"

6. "My son wet the bed again while his Ten Commandments sheets were on. Does he need more Jesus Camp to wash away his yellow sin?"

5. "It's not gay if it's a chick sheep, right?"

4. "Paula Abdul -- temptress or antichrist?"

3. "If the Lord didn't want me to periodically grind my loins against the TV screen, then why did He make John Gibson so steamy and hunkalicious?"

2. "Is that Mary Matalin giving Fred Thompson a lap dance?"

1. "When you find yourself at a moral crossroads, do you ask yourself, "What would Les Kinsolving do?"

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Values voters -- that sounds so like 2002. I feel the last time these guys had any sort of political momentum to take note of. Shortly before the Terri Schiavo debacle.

As to the Kinsolving dude: I clicked on the link and I felt transposed back to the '50s. Who said time travel ain't possible? Take that, Captain Picard.

But what I'd like to know is: how much of a following do these neanderthals still retain? Clearly, there'll be nutcases even in God's shiny city on a hill, I mean, the American republic. But are these wackos still a sociological section to reckon with?

Heywood J. said...

The values voters' influence is definitely waning, but the depth of even that narrow support translates into at least some degree of money and leverage. They still seem to command enough electoral leverage in Jesusland to merit watching. Enough to truly reckon with, I dunno, but in the politics of incrementalism, they can't be totally ignored.

But yeah, the Schiavo episode was their undoing; it peeled off a lot of folks who realized that, when push came to shove, they didn't want a bunch of goobers outside a hospital influencing their own end-of-life choices.

Kinsolving is pure comedy gold; most of WhirledNutDaily's "columnists" are. Chuck Norris is also pretty entertaining.