Fred Thompson came out on top in Wednesday's debate among the Republican presidential candidates in Iowa. Of all the candidates, he did himself the most good.
Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney also scored well. They avoided any last-minute derailments of their front-running candidacies in Iowa and shored up the support they've built.
So let me get this straight -- a candidate who has basically fallen off the radar, because he's decided to play this like a job he doesn't want to appear to want too much, topped the two prospective front-runners? Well, no, not exactly. It's just that Fred showed a pulse for one night, which is more than he's done in the past six weeks. Lowering expectations always helps with this crowd.
So what exactly did the esteemed lobbyist from Hollyweird say that rejuvenated his malingering excuse for a candidacy?
He had several high points. One of them came when he flatly refused to play the "raise your hand" game in answering a question about global warming. Another came when he said the biggest problem facing education was the National Education Association. (Bashing teacher unions is always popular with Republican audiences.)
Thompson also gets credit for being a stand-up guy willing to take on entitlement programs that threaten to bankrupt the country if left unchanged. He made it clear that wealthy, older Americans could no longer expect full Medicare benefits if he's elected. Thompson also teased Romney about his wealth and how the former Massachusetts governor is "getting to be a pretty good actor."
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up a second there, hoss. Talk about your loaded euphemisms, the "entitlement programs that threaten to bankrupt the country if left unchanged". There are plenty such entitlement programs that will do that if permitted to fester, starting with our catastrophic foreign policy. How many more bungled invasions do you think we can stand? I'm sure Fred has a folksy metaphor to answer with, but I don't really care how many ticks his uncle's bloodhound had, sorry.
But hey, at least he's letting those elderly parasites know exactly where he stands on things, so they have no excuse if they fall for his schtick. (Of course, Fred's needs are well-met, thanks to those same taxpayers who are expected to throw away what safety net they might have.) And as for teasing Richie Rich about being rich, well, pot meet kettle. Fred may not be worth Willard's reputed $200 mil+, but he's not going broke either. Nothing worse than one rich asshole trying to play the class warfare card with a richer asshole.
The biggest problem with the debate was that it wasn't really a debate. Candidates got almost no opportunity to grill one another. Often they ran out of time and were cut off just as they started to probe an opponent.
The event would have been more nourishing had the format allowed for more back-and-forth.
Sure, and if your aunt had balls, she'd be your uncle. "Nourishing", that's freakin' hilarious. We're talking about a set of candidates -- and an audience -- that still happily supports this failure of an administration. These people are so malnourished, I almost feel like I should try to save them for only pennies a day, and they can write me heartwarming letters about the new well in their village.
As much of a dog-and-phony show as these things are, at least this wasn't cluttered with a preening celebrojournomoderator. The last thing any of us needed was Tweety Matthews spanking his beleaguered monkey behind the podium over how tall Fred is. In the meantime, I still assume that, given the sheer incompetence, buffoonery, and baggage of the rest of the field (and seriously, what the fuck is wrong with Alan Keyes?), Romney will get the nomination. He's got the money, the telegenic demeanor, and he seems the least certifiable, which is saying something with this lot.
The question is, who gets Romney's nod for veep? I think he'll throw a bone to the CPAC losers, it's just a matter of to what degree. Of his competitors, I could see McCain getting pulled on to a ticket, despite his age. Beyond that, it all depends on how cray-zay they want to get.
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