Sunday, December 02, 2007

Sharpening the Crayon, Part Duh

Another brain surgeon weighs in:

Editor - What a surprise. Robert Redford makes a movie about Iraq that severely criticizes President Bush and his administration ("Redford's war," Nov. 4). Just out of curiosity, why do none of these narrow-minded, self-serving, leftist "experts" such as Redford, Michael Moore, Oliver Stone, Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, George Clooney, Rob Reiner and a seemingly endless list of other show business Bush haters ever have even one thing positive or complimentary to say about the president or his accomplishments? Constant and relentless accusatory bad-mouthing and fault-finding with absolutely no positive aspects inevitably grow exceedingly boring, and their sincerity comes into question.

One might just as well ask themselves why no Bush supporters ever seem to get around to making films of their own, if he's so bloody popular 'mongst both the hoi and the polloi. Funny, that.

And exactly which of these "accomplishments" is someone -- friend or foe -- supposed to make a feature-length hagiography of? Sticking a firecracker in Iraq's ass just to watch it blow? Running up the deficit? Making sure Paris Hilton doesn't go broke, under the guise of "keeping the economy strong"? Learning how to pronounce "subliminal" and "nuclear"? We're all on the edge of our seat, sweet cheeks.

Most people can't keep pace with inflation and/or gas prices, not to mention that the world order is collapsing around our ears while Junior learns how to work the remote, seven years into the game. Please be assured of my sincerity that people are welcome to make films about those subjects (in lieu of, say, Fred Claus) any day of the week.


Marius said...

Surely it must be the Jewish-Lib'rul-Godless cabal in Hollywood that prevents Chuck Norris from making the movie about liberating Iraq America so richly deserves. His creativity financially strangled by the conniving Left, he must content himself with minor artistic achievements: endorsing the Huck-A-Bee, making the odd commercial, etc.

Also: couple years ago, there was some rumor about Sly Stallone making a sequel to Rambo -- in Afghanistan! It's a good thing it went nowhere. Had the turbaned infidels seen the Stallion's currently flabby chest, they would have collectively died... with glee.

Heywood J. said...

Yeah, I'm not really sure what's holding the Chuck Norrises of the world back here, unless the Total Gym money (or getting to hang out with Christie Brinkley, who definitely pings my milf radar) is just that good. Seems like he and Kelsey Grammer and the rest of 'em could put their little heads together and come up with something; going through life complaining that Harvey Weinstein and Barbra Streisand are keeping you down is pretty damned pathetic.

I remember hearing about that long-awaited Rambo sequel too -- looks like they settled on Burma. Maybe Stallone takes his shirt off and buries the bad guys in a flabalanche (apologies to Hans and Franz).

Marius said...

Thanks for the update. So it's Burma. That settles it, then -- now that the brave men and women of Afghanistan have been liberated, it's another darkly oppressive regime's turn to get the Shaft of Freedomocracy.

From the early synopsis of some eager Stallone fan, I can see the next Rambo will have all the elements of Reagan-era chauvinism, 20 years after St Ronnie left God's Shiny City on A Hill...umm... I mean, the White House: kidnapped Christian missionaries, "sadistic" slant-eyed "generals," and the inevitable pandering to the down-on-his-luck redneck: a veteran living his retirement days in Bangkok, "where he spends his time salvaging old PT boats and tanks for scrap metal."

Well, color me surprised. I've talked to quite a few Western European yuppies, and I know they go to Bangkok for something completely different. And no, it's not the cuisine either.

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