Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Desperately Seeking Stupid

The truth about the world, [the judge] said, is that anything is possible. Had you not seen it all from birth and thereby bled it of its strangeness it would appear to you for what it is, a hat trick in a medicine show, a fevered dream, a trance bepopulate with chimeras having neither analogue nor precedent, an itinerant carnival, a migratory tentshow whose ultimate destination after many a pitch in many a mudded field is unspeakable and calamitous beyond reasoning.

-- Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian

Where Buttmissile famously chugged the kool-aid, K. Lo also eats the worm.

A totally crazy Saturday-morning thought: Wouldn't George W. Bush make an awesome high-school government teacher? Wouldn't it be something if his post-presidential life would up being that kind of post-service service? How's that for a model?

This has to be the most unironic teabagging in some time, of the most profoundly undeserving person imaginable. What is up with this weird little Mr. Chips daydream? Does she really not realize that Fredo's going to hit the rainmaker circuit? I'm sure Sun Myung Moon's already got a monogrammed recliner ready for him; if not, he can just fight his brother for whatever their dad used when he was the Moonies' shill.

No, Shrub's not gonna bother with any of that Jimmy Carter shit, supervising elections in corrupt backwaters (other than Florida/Ohio/DC), building houses for the homeless. The best way he can fulfill his, erm, "post-service service" is to just mosey back to the tumbleweed farm and find a bottle of anything to swim in. Imagine that, a man who knows nothing about proper government except how to wreck it, passing on his wisdom to the next generation.

Whatever you think of President Bush, he's a likable guy in love with his country with some history and experience to share.

I think he's a guy who lawn-darted his country, and left it, the world, and the office he occupied much worse places than they were when he toddled onto the scene. Most of the country thinks so. Most of the planet thinks so. If K. Lo wants to marry one of her fellow wingnut welfare rats and have Mister Man home school their low-forehead progeny, by all means, have at it.

It's hard not to double-check the post for some evidence of tongue-in-cheek; after all, even a good measure of Republicans are tacitly admitting that they just want this fuckin' guy to go away already, before he babbles incoherently and knocks something else over. Then again, Lopez is the same person who last December quite seriously opined that no matter which of their wretched roster the Republicans picked for their nominee, that man's veep choice should be none other than Sportin' Life Bill Bennett, preacher of morals for thee.

Just when you thought that people couldn't get any weirder, couldn't say anything stupider, there they go and surprise ya. It's like something Britney Spears would have said through a mouthful of Flamin' Hot Cheetos and purple drank.


Dr. Know said...

GWB would make a superb wheel chock for an 18-wheeler, but a teacher? Not so much.

Desperately seeking stupid? Here in the land of authoritarian sheep, the last fucking red state in the country, there is little else.

thedevilzone said...

Hell yeah, he'd be an awesome government teacher! Everything that wasn't classified and forbidden to be discussed would be answered by "Whatever the president says." There'd probably be lots of room for students to just make up their own answers. Easiest exams ever.

(Whassup with the micro-font?)

Heywood J. said...

Forgot to turn off the small tag. Yeah, that would be some pretty good skit material there, figuring out what Fredo's lectures and tests might look like. Essay questions would be graded on how many times the phrase "in other words" is used to explain simple points.

Marius said...

This ourburst has made the rounds of the left-wing blogosphere. But it doesn't strike me really as stupidity; K-Lo's stupid alright, but this "crazy Saturday morning moment" is yet another fit of infatuation some of these right-wing cows have with the Maximus Fratboy. Like Condo Rice's weird sexless imaginary marriage to G-Dubs.