The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

There are precious few certainties in this life, but I can guaran-goddamn-tee y'all that I will never get tired of reading these things over the next four, eight, twenty years, however long this new dark night turns out to last.

The Kentucky voters I spoke with constantly mentioned "change" as a reason they supported [Drumpf].

"That man has a head for business," Atkins said. "He will absolutely do his best to change things."

Still, Oller acknowledged she took a leap of faith with [Drumpf].

"It was Russian roulette," Oller said of her vote. "But I felt that we needed change."

Welp, you're about to get all the change you can stand, sweet-cheeks. If there's one thing I am in 100% agreement with self-styled conservatives on, it's that people should bear the consequences and be accountable for their stupid decisions, so bon appetit, assholes.

Bonus points for the inadvertent "Russian roulette" pun. Сделать Россию Великой Снова!