Thursday, November 09, 2006

Cornercopia, Part 2

It's the gift that never stops giving, really. Is there something in the water these people drink and (except for Pantload) bathe in, or is it all just an ongoing hoax, a giggling bet amongst them to see who can pull the most laughable nugget of offal out of their virtual asses, as Edroso has postulated?

K. Lo, in the rapture of an electoral thrashing, has apparently decided to become a one-person employment agency for a two-term incumbent who couldn't pull 39%:

There's an idea too...Rick Santorum for U.N. (POTUS apparently didn't like my SECDEF idea. Jeff Sessions (who is wonderful on judges) for SCOTUS. Of course, in the minority now, I don't think the Senate can afford life without Sessions.

You have to hand it to these people -- beneath the cheery ignorance of their ridiculous ideas and their bogus endorsements for card-carrying morons, there is actual work involved. It takes real effort to craft so many preposterous ideas into just a few helpless sentences.

Santorum for the Supreme Court. Santorum for SecDef. Santorum to replace John Bolton (which I'd actually endorse if Santorum would adopt Bolton's tonsorial tics).

Hell, you can float Little Ricky's name for the lead in the next Scorsese film, or to replace Buckethead in the revolving door of Guns 'n' Roses guitarists, for all that'll get ya. He's still a guy who, after twelve years of getting to know him, got tossed by his constituents like a dead fish.

It's true that perhaps the only political personage who could benefit from a relationship with such a chronically unpopular person is Fredo, but you have to figure he's not quite that eager to step on his dick yet again, when there's not even the potential of any political upside.

K. Lo shouldn't worry so, especially when it's not terribly clear whether she's more worried about Santorum's well-being or America's. Santorum will find a place either on the rubber-chicken circuit, exhorting hotel convention rooms of fellow hypochristians for hefty wads of cash, joining the other people on Fox News who have no idea what the hell they're talking about, or writing an "inspirational" "autobiography" and then doing the first two things. As for America, we got along just fine without Santorum's incessant moralizing and halfwitted foreign policy stumping, and now we can again. Successmanship!

Perhaps K. Lo should turn her human resources skills to helping out one Felix Macacawitz, who is reportedly job-hunting as well these days. If there's a job out there that can help Felix with his anger-management and sense of entitlement issues -- say, Altoids/Purell carrier for Fredo -- maybe he can appear rehabilitated enough in time for K. Lo to start touting him as Jeb!'s running mate in '12.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dunno about the dimwit from Virginia, but I wouldn't write off the Frothy Mixture fo Fecal Matter and Anal Lubricant from Pennsylvania, as Dan Savage called him. These fascists have a habit of recycling their lackeys every 20 years or so, when the tide turns in their favor again. I mean, would you have thought, in 1992, that you'd see Cheney, Rumsfeld, Ollie North, G Gordon Liddy and all of Nixon and Reagan's third-rate intellects back in the political saddle again? There's already enough retards out there who think Ricky S is the Churchill of our age (funny how no one remembers these days how Churchill advocated, in 1919 or thereabout, the use of mustard gas to in the Middle East to "pacify" the Lesser Breeds -- there's statesmanship for ya!). I'll bet you a case of Saint Emilion, Heywood, that around 2016 Santorum will be brought out of retirement and touted as the fascist Right's point man for the White House. Remember, the dumber and more reactionary, the better you are for the GOP, the future Party of the South. I just pray we won't hear these braying morons around 2020 telling us that Bush 43 was the best preznit of post-bellic America. I wouldn't put anything past these animals.