Monday, November 06, 2006

Freudian Slip

The whole thing is about as ripe as a Jesse Helms diaper that's gone a full weekend, but two quotes in particular are just money.

First, the setup in the intro:

THE [PREZNIT]: Thank you. Thank you all very much. (Applause.) I appreciate you coming. Thanks. It's great to be back in Greeley. (Applause.) Thanks for your hospitality. This isn't the first time I've been to Greeley. (Applause.) I like coming to places like Greeley, Colorado, because the people here are down to earth, hardworking -- (applause) -- people here have a lot of common sense. (Applause.)

Jesus Christ. I've worked harder to verbally jerk off barroom crowds of two dozen. He's not even trying -- but then again, neither are they. Five Pavlovian applause breaks in about ten seconds, two of which were just because he said the name of the town.

I'm reminded of the Spinal Tap episode of The Simpsons, where David St. Hubbins, evoking pretty much every rock star from day one, has to look at the sign taped to the floor to remind him of which town he's in, yet gets cheap applause for it. After a disastrously short set, St. Hubbins closes in a curmudgeonly, "Good night, Springton! There will be no encore!"

Of course, that was a cartoon; these pinnipeds might as well have been thrown a handful of sardines every minute or so.

Anyway, here's the real crux of the biscuit:

I can't look at the mothers and fathers and husbands and wives of those who wear our uniform who may be in Iraq, and say, it's noble, but not think I can -- we can win the -- the only way we can win is if we leave before the job is -- I mean, the only way we can lose is if we leave before the job is done. That's the only way.

I dunno. I am not by any means a pacifist, or even a doctrinaire multilateralist -- I believe that the current paradigm of nation-state construct and social organization, for better or worse, dictates a certain level of hegemon, and if so, I'm afraid I'd rather it be us than anyone else. I know it's wrong and un-progressive of me and I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.

But I'll be goddamned if I can figure out how even the hawkiest of hawks can look at and listen to this fucking clown and think, "Yeah. I'll trust fucking C-Plus Augustus with my life, my family's lives, and the well-being of the entire country and world! That sounds like the best option available to me!"

Really?!? Seriously? The guy can't even get out of the way of his own folksy boilerplate long enough to get his story straight -- all to stump for a Jesus Camp loon who thinks that gay marriage is the biggest problem we face.

I haven't just had enough of the idiots running our country -- I've had enough of the dipshits who keep them there.

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