Thursday, November 02, 2006

So Shall Ye Reap

It's not for me to judge "Lotsa Head" Ted Haggard's alleged hidden predilections. I don't care if he likes to ride another guy's baloney pony until his cornhole is raw and throbbing. It makes no difference to me if he enjoys working a rent-boy's pork nozzle until it explodes in a Krakatoa of steamy choad. And if keeping all his (bare)back issues of Piping-Hot Man-Chowder magazine behind his "tool" box in the garage is wrong, then maybe Ted just doesn't wanna be right. It's none of my business. I don't even need to speculate on exactly why the loudest homophobes seem to be the biggest closet cases. It's just one of God's little practical jokes, I guess.

And even if the rent-boy's allegations turn out to be false and unfounded, it would be something if perhaps Haggard learned some sort of lesson about snooping and lecturing everyone else on their private lives. It won't happen, obviously, because as Johnnie Walker Hitchens once sagely wrote, some people never learn, but then, some people never intend to. These idiots soak in their own hypocrisy, demonstrating always that money and power are inherently corruptive.

But it would still be something if Haggard at least had to think about it a little bit, even if he never admits it. Till then, this sanctimonious little shit gets a little payback. This is what the freaky fag-obsessed lunatics wanted. This is what they get.

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