A priest, a rabbi, and Ted Haggard walk into a gay bar. The priest starts talking about all the altar boys he got away with molesting over the years, how the church just kept shuffling him around instead of contacting law enforcement, and how the diocese is now broke from all the people they've had to settle with. He's laughing, nursing a Sea Breeze, and looking around for a pole to smoke.
Ted Haggard talks about how he'd like a nice massage, as long as there's anal sex and a fat sack of dope involved. He's also laughing, at the morons who take his weird half-admissions literally, and seriously believe that he just got massages and bought speed just to throw away. He's looking around as well, eyeballing the bar scene like it's a Whitman's Sampler of pulsating man-flesh.
The rabbi says, "What the hell am I doing in a gay bar with you two hypocritical assholes?"
And the Baby Jesus cried.
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