Mean Girls

Sometimes it's justified, as in this excerpt from the King of All Media's interview with the excellent Tina Fey:

HS: What is Paris Hilton like?

TF: She's a piece of sh-t. The people at SNL were like maybe she'll be fun, maybe she won't take herself so seriously. She takes herself so seriously! She's unbelievably dumb and so proud of how dumb she is. She looks like a tranny up close.

HS: Was she bad on SNL, was she hard to deal with?

TF: She was awful. People never come in and say "I'm not doing that." So, this guy Jim Downey wrote a really really funny sketch, it was supposed to be Lorne Michaels just finding out that she had a sex tape and telling her she couldn't host the show because SNL has standards... So she was like "I'm not doing it!" and refused to come out of her dressing room. Also, you would walk down the hall and find what just looked like nasty wads of Barbie hair on the stairs... Her hair is like a Fraggle.

HS: Did she give you ideas for sketches?

TF: Yeah, she wanted to make fun of all the girls she hates. She was like "I want to play Jessica Simpson, I hate her." She would come in the room and say "you should do a show about Jessica Simpson because she's fat."

HS: What was the bet you guys had going about her?

TF: The cast had a bet if she would ask anyone on the cast anything about themselves, you know like how are you? where are you from? anything. I think Seth Meyers won because at one point, she asked him if Maya Rudolf [sic] was Italian. [ed. -- Rudolph is half black and half Jewish]

So, we already liked us some Tina Fey, but now she can pretty much do no wrong in our eyes. Paris the Heiress worked every sentient being's last fucking nerve long ago, of course, but this past weekend, the SF Comical had a style section piece on her that emphasized the aggressive uselessness of this person (not worth the time to find and link the article).

At one point, the interviewer asked Paris which five people she'd most like to have dinner with, pretty standard stuff. She couldn't think of five, living or dead. So the interviewer says, okay, just three then. Paris then says herself, her sister, and renewed BFF Nicole Richie. I shit you not. Perhaps a couple fat lines and a Red Bull and vodka would jar what passes for a brain there.

Ordinarily, like most sensible people, I just ignore the skank. But I tell you, there's some days where you just think that maybe bringing the guillotine back and starting from scratch ain't such a bad idea. There is simply no goddamned reason such a person should be worth so much money.

Anyway, our Cool Chick of the Week is Tina Fey.