Rummy, holding out hope that Zarqawi is too grievously injured to flee or be treated in secrecy, neglects the obvious possibility that he's just playing possum again. However, just in case:
So it'll be a sliding scale of punitive action, depending on which neighbor gets caught harboring Zarqawi.
- Kuwait: Pay them to turn Zarqawi over to us, let them jack up the payment, send half into the Halliburton Kickback Fund, and "lose" the other half, like that $9 billion they "lost".
- Jordan: Engage in quickie propaganda campaign to inform Americans where and what Jordan is, and gauge their reaction as a finger to the wind on whether to rattle the sabers or open up the checkbook.
- Iran: Engage in disinformation campaign to shift blame to Syria. Pressure Italian and British intel agencies to concoct documents to wave as evidence. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
- Pakistan: Pretend not to notice. Um, but really we're lookin', honest.
- Saudi Arabia or Turkey: Beg forgiveness, genuflect loudly, and promise not to ruffle their feathers again, pretty please o masterses of the preciousssss.
- Syria: Get Toby Keith to get crackin' on some finger-snappin' jingo two-steps for the cephalopods to waggle their tentacles to. It's Shockin' Y'all time agin, podna!
Not that it matters. Catching or killing Zarqawi or Bin Laden won't change a thing. But you already knew that.