What Happens In Abu Ghraib Stays In Abu Ghraib

It took an ACLU lawsuit to make it happen, but there's more from the vile Abu Ghraib fun photo archive that's about to become public. See, the reason that it's taken over a year -- and a lawsuit -- is because we are children who must be kept shielded from the truth by the "adults" who are lawn-darting this nation just as surely as Rosie O'Donnell has king-size cankles.

As many as 144 photos and still images from four videotapes could be made public in coming weeks, as soon as the Pentagon finishes editing them to conceal the identify of the victims.

The digital photos are from the same batch amassed by Army Spc. Joseph Darby, who was based at Abu Ghraib. Darby turned the photos over to military investigators last year.

And instead of the huge "thank you" he deserved for making a game attempt to hew to putative American values and traditions, Darby has received nothing but grief for his troubles. Even his sister's family received so many death threats, they had to move to another state.

Sometimes you figure that maybe Darwin was wrong after all.

Later, some photos showing naked Iraqi prisoners being forced to simulate sex acts were broadcast and published. The ensuing controversy triggered wide criticism of U.S. policies on handling prisoners at Abu Ghraib and other military prisons.

Perhaps the Pentagon could have defused some of the criticism by sponsoring a "funny caption" contest. Example:


Abdul and his friend Mohamed are playing a fun party game in which they attempt to pass a strategically-placed walnut from person to person without using their hands. Careful, Mohamed -- don't get too excited or you'll drop the walnut!

Here are some more fun photos. Feel free to make up your own photo phunny captions, and tell me that the punks that did this shit don't deserve some serious hard time for disgracing America like this. Remember, these photos have been out for awhile -- the ones that are to be released can be presumed to be worse.

Quoth Rummy about this tempest in a teabag:

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has said repeatedly that only a handful of low-level Army troops were involved in the abuse. The abuses "took place on one shift in Abu Ghraib -- not the shift before, not the shift after, but on one shift," Rumsfeld reiterated this month, adding: "As a result, dozens of people have been prosecuted and are being punished, as they should be."

Rummy, per usual, falls prey to what George Orwell warns strictly against -- using passive voice construction and being vague with quantitative facts. How many "dozens" of people, Rummy? What sort of punishment? Will they be forced to toss the salad for the amusement of a "shift" of snickering Neanderthals as well?

To date, eight soldiers have pleaded guilty or been convicted at court- martial in the scandal. Despite the findings of several military reviews pointing out flaws in the operation of military prisons, no military or civilian personnel at the highest levels of the military chain of command have charges brought against them.

Ah, so not "dozens", but eight, which is two-thirds of one dozen. See how Rummy does this shit, this passive-aggressive lying tactic of his? How many dozens, asshole? Two, five? Ten, twenty? How about less than one dozen? Why the fuck is this prick saying "dozens" when he means eight? Say eight, cocksucker, because it most certainly is not "dozens".

I am certain that Oxycontin Limbaugh and the rest of the kneepad apologists for this metastasized tumor of a government will assume the usual position posthaste. They never fail to live down to expectations.