NFL Playoff Predictions

I skipped the wild cards because all the teams, almost by definition, are pretty equally-matched, so upsets are way more likely. The Packers certainly bear out that theory, and I would have picked the Chargers as well. No matter. Here's what's left:

• AFC Divisionals -- Colts at Patriots: Conventional wisdom opines that this comes down to weather conditions; that is, since Peyton Manning's arm is the sole gun of the Colts' arsenal these days, and he's used to the pristine conditions of a dome....well, you get the idea. For once, conventional wisdom is right. Foxboro in January, the only mystery here is whether the weather will be snow or fog. Even without Ty Law, Belichick's system always has an answer for Manning.
  Patriots 27, Colts 17
  
  Jets at Steelers: The Jets squeaked by San Diego towards the end of OT, after they almost handed it to San Diego. Too bad, because the Chargers were actually the better team, and would have matched the Steelers more evenly. If the Jets can ride Curtis Martin most of the day and control the clock, and if their D can stop the run and be opportunistic and snag a Roethlisberger pass or two, and if they can remain disciplined and avoid dumb penalties for 60 whole minutes, they might be able to pull off an upset. And if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle.
  
  Oh yeah, and the Jets have never won in Pittsburgh. Never. No reason to think they're suddenly gonna start.
  Steelers 31, Jets 12




• NFC Divisionals -- Rams at Falcons: The Rams suck. The Falcons don't. Mike Martz should be cleaning my fucking gutters. Mike Vick does things that make defenses change their usual game plans just for him. This one shouldn't even be close. Carolina would have been a much better matchup against Atlanta.
  Falcons 41, Rams 13
  
  Vikings at Eagles: First of all, the Vikings pulled off one hell of an upset this afternoon at Lambeau Field. Consider: they backed into the playoffs, they're a dome team, and they suck on the road. The Pack should have lit this one up; instead, the Vikes started fast, pimp-slapped the Packers into submission, and by the time Green Bay got their rhythm back, Favre had thrown 4 INTs and the RBs were lucky to recover their 3 fumbles (which still wastes a down and kills a lot of momentum).
  
  The Eagles are just not the same without Terrell Owens, despite their protests. He is their Randy Moss, in good ways as well as bad. Owens has helped mask some deficiencies in the Eagles' D this season, particularly their weak pass rush. As long as Minnesota didn't shoot their wad this afternoon in terms of team spirit and energy, this one really depends on just how bum Moss' wheel turns out be. As of now, it looks like another upset waiting to happen, saving the Eagles the ignominy of getting their asses kicked by Atlanta in the NFC Championship Game, thus becoming the Buffalo Bills of that particular game.
  Vikings 24, Eagles 20




• AFC Championship Game -- Patriots at Steelers: It's a great storyline, two teams with wild (in this age of parity) winning streaks and records, and the Pats legitimately vying to become a true dynasty. It's going to be a great game, regardless, but Pittsburgh's D is mighty-mighty, and their ball-control game has carried them this far. A healthier Duce Staley will only help that rushing attack.
  Steelers 27, Patriots 23




• NFC Championship Game -- Vikings at Falcons: This one looks good on paper -- dome team against dome team, strength against strength, but the Falcons will be much fresher and healthier than the Vikes.
  Falcons 37, Vikings 24




• Super Bowl Prediction -- Atlanta vs. Pittsburgh. The game will be good; the halftime entertainment will not. If you get out of it without having to look at Mickey Rooney's nekkid ass, consider yourself lucky. As for the game, Vick is good for a few big plays, but Pittsburgh should roll pretty effectively on the Falcons.
  Steelers 34, Falcons 24

(all predictions subject to change when wrong....)