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Thursday, January 13, 2005

Oh Well, Whatever, Never Mind

Oops. Our bad.

Here's what the Minister of Unbridled Gall had to say in the Dauphin's defense:
"Nothing's changed in terms of his views when it comes to Iraq, what he has previously stated and what you have previously heard," McClellan said. "The president knows that by advancing freedom in a dangerous region we are making the world a safer place."

Uh-huh. 200,000 insurgents coming out of the woodwork at random intervals. 170,000 coalition troops cordoning off every village with razor wire and machine guns, getting itchier trigger fingers with every IED that goes off. Proposed training of Salvadoran-style death squads to keep the natives under Allawi's thumb after we pull out. Freedom's not only on the march, he's streaking the Super Bowl with an eagle in one hand and an apple pie in the other.


Bush has appointed a panel to investigate why the intelligence about Iraq's weapons was wrong.

Sure he has. Who's "a panel" -- Mitch McConnell and a chimp with a dartboard? Will Bush need Uncle Dick by his side to speak off the record for this panel too?


McClellan said the Iraq experience would not make Bush hesitant to raise alarms when he deems it necessary.

Like my neighbor's stupid-ass mutt, who barks bloody fucking murder all night every time a cat takes a dump on the next block. Translation: get ready to "spread freedom" to Iran. Or North Korea; we haven't decided yet. We're gonna flip a coin.

But it'll be a Coin of Freedom!

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